Thursday, June 4, 2009


For the moment NAKED is complete. I am satisfied that this Blog site contains all the perceptual pointers any serious explorer in intimacy requires to initiate an experiential journey into intimacy. There is much more to the experience than is shared here. However, I am satisfied that anyone who makes use of these writings experientially shall be guided as I was into all they require. 

Thursday, April 23, 2009


As we explore further aspects of intimacy we shall move more deeply into aspects of what we have discussed here. But for now – this piece of writing encapsulates all the instructions we require to initiate a deepening of this journey in a responsible, compassionate, and fruitful manner. There is however one more useful perceptual tool to share which adds a deeply compassionate vibrational resonance to our shared moments of emotional processing. This is called, ‘The Bridge’.

In revealing this perceptual tool, we bring our discussion on the practice of gazing full circle, right back to where we commenced it: To the conscious establishment of clear intent when consciously exploring intimacy with another.

As has been stated repeatedly throughout this NAKED journey – there is a radiance moved through in this heart-work – that when honored – facilitates our exploration into and through the resonance of intimacy: First we encounter and consciously commence the art of resolving emotional signatures reflected within our experience when alone, then we consciously commence resolving emotional signatures as reflected back to us through our birth family, and only then do we consciously initiate such a journey with a companion.

There is method in the deliberateness of this radiance. A crucial part of this is that we are to experientially establish an awareness of the divine aspect of ourselves which we call ‘the vibrational’ – and this awareness is to be established experientially to some extent before we commence such a journey with another.

There is no formulae, no guaranteed step-by-step instruction that I know of, on how to establish this experiential awareness of our vibrational divinity as a certainty - other than our willingness to first process the emotional signatures within our experience that come up when we are alone, and then to commence this processing through the reflections revealed to us through our current way of relating to our birth family. Emotional processing does not ‘make this vibrational experience happen’ – it simply serves to unmask what is already and always present.

In THE PRESENCE PROCESS we refer to this achievement of experiential vibrational awareness as ‘gaining an awareness of our Inner Presence’. Our Inner Presence is an expression within this world experience of our vibrational actuality. We come to ‘know it’ through emotional processing. We come to ‘know it’ through the continual falling away of what it is masking its continuous presence. It is an awareness which visits us in a way that is customized to our personal perceptual capacities. Achieving it occurs ‘through us’ and is therefore not something another can ‘do to us’. It is 'a knowing' beyond any reasoning or any specific emotional, mental, and physical validation.

Once we have accomplished a certain amount of emotional processing, we real eyes there is a part of our experience that always is, always has been, and always will be. We ‘feel this to be so’, and so we real eyes this through the gradual development of our felt-perception. This is not something we can prove to another or even communicate efficiently through the vehicle of ‘understanding’. It arises only when we are ready to contain it – only when it is required. Once we know it, we know it. Our awareness of it does not require validation by another.

If we are not yet aware of this aspect of ourselves – no amount of trying or discussing or asking questions or reading or listening to others achieves it. It is achieved experientially through removing the masking of it. It is our emotional imprinting which masks it. It is therefore achieved through the consistent and continual willingness ‘to consciously participate in processing what is not actual’ – our emotional imprinting and the consequent mental and physical projections arising from within these dysfunctional energetic patterns.

What is valid in this discussion is this: If we are not yet to some extent experientially aware of this divine aspect of ourselves – of this part of us which is permanent, unchanging, and therefore eternal – then we are not yet ready to enter a conscious exploration of intimacy with another.

This is because if we do not yet have this aspect of ourselves in which to take refuge – then when the shared upsets that explode from a practice like gazing arise – we immediately, reflexively, run from what is unfolding. Translated, it means we attempt to cage, kill, or flee the triggered experience we are having with our companion. This is what ‘breaking up’ is. It is ‘the fleeing of a triggered emotional signature’. If all we know of our current human experience is the emotional, mental, and physical aspect of it – then, when these deeply primal signatures arise and impact our emotional, mental, and physical parameters – we have nowhere from which to compassionately observe their unfolding. They become all-encompassing and overwhelming.

Within the context of exploring intimacy consciously with another we require an experiential knowing of our vibrational divinity. This does not mean we have achieved enlightenment, or any such claim. It simply means we are to some extent familiar with an aspect of our unfolding experience that is unchanging. This vibrational aspect within ourselves we then refer to as, ‘The Bridge’. The Bridge is a place of beingness that is deeply connected to, yet also above and beyond, the waters of our ever-changing and flowing human life experience. It remains untouched by anything emotional, mental, and physical that transpires as a consequence of our conscious exploration into intimacy with another.

This too is why ‘we cannot find an intimacy companion’. How do we know when another has already established this Bridge-awareness within themselves? We don’t. Only the universe knows who has accomplished this experientially and is therefore for ready to face what must be faced by any two seeking to gather authentically and intimately in the name of love.

Therefore, once a suitable companion has been placed before us, and once we have approach them verbally with an invitation to explore intimacy, it is then imperative that we also verbally establish a mutual awareness of The Bridge factor within our intended exploration with each other. It may be explained from one to another in this manner:

“This exploration into intimacy we are intending is going to uproot very deeply embedded emotional signatures related to the way the feminine and masculine are interacting with each other within ourselves. There is deep hurt within these age-old ways of relating that are going to arise and be consciously felt by us both. When we gaze together, these ancient energetic patterns are going to stir and eventually arise into our awareness as uncomfortable upsets unfolding between us. This is going to feel horrible at times – so horrible that we may feel compelled to run from each other. We therefore require ‘a place of beingness’ that we may enter within ourselves so we may continue to have the capacity to participate in this processing work without destroying the fabric of our companionship. Let’s call this place of beingness, ‘The Bridge’. When something explodes unexpectedly between us it is not the end of the world, or the end of us being together. However, it may temporarily be impossible for us to interact with each other emotionally, mentally, and physically in ‘a loving, conscious, or compassionate manner’. This is okay. This is going to happen. It is a required part of this journey we are agreeing to undertake together. When these upsets arise, the worst action we can possibly initiate is to talk about it – or to act out physically what we are feeling - like getting up and leaving. These imprinted emotional conditions arising because of our gazing practice may be so explosive that they immediately knock us into deep unconsciousness. The nature of the divine guidance accompanying this work is that when this happens one of us will be conscious enough to know that this is an event triggered by our gazing – or even simply triggered by our sincere intent to explore intimacy consciously with each other. Whoever retains this capacity of awareness is to say to the other, ‘See you on The Bridge’. By one of us saying this to each other, what we are really saying is this: This is okay. Yes, it feels horrible right now, but it will come to pass if we apply the silence, stillness, and felt-resonance of alchemical beingness to it. This is supposed to happen to us. Interacting with each other emotionally, mentally, and physically right now is futile. Even though we are together as this is happening, all the work right now must be inwardly directed. We must be in it as it is and not panic. Know that despite how this arising emotional signature is currently coloring our entire reality that I still and shall always love you. For now though, I am standing on The Bridge where nothing of this earth life changes the love between us. For now I meet you there until this is resolved within me. Once resolution arises, and we are able to laugh about it, which we shall, we may return to our emotional, mental, and physical interactions with each other. Don’t be afraid of losing me, and don’t run away from this experience, or from me. These turbulent waters shall flow beneath our Bridge and our love for each other shall remain. After this is passed, we shall have enhanced our capacity to be with each other just as we are. This is all required. Meet you on The Bridge my love.”

If we do not establish The Bridge within our way of relating with our companion when consciously exploring intimacy with each other – we shall not make it through what is to be experienced upon such a journey. If we cannot verbally establish this Bridging capacity with another – our way of relating with them is not yet mature enough to enter such an experience.

An incapacity to establish and apply a perceptual tool like The Bridge is a direct consequence of not yet having done enough emotional processing of what is reflected back to us by our experience when we are alone, and it is a direct consequence of not yet having done enough emotional processing of what is reflected back to us when we sit around the dinner table with our birth family.

AMAZING GAZING - PART IV - The Consequences

The way this practice works is that while we are gazing with each other, we are simultaneously mining energetically within ourselves. Though our companion is present, for each of us gazing is essentially ‘an inside job’. We are energetically digging inwardly and uncovering the imprinted patterns revealing the emotional signatures which – because they are so uncomfortable – unconsciously drive us from ‘being with each other’ into ‘doing with each other’.

15 minutes gazing once a week is all that is required to unearth the causality of ‘our doingness when together’. What occurs as a direct consequence of this gazing is that over the next few days after experiencing this practice we become aware of these emotional signatures. For the most part, this awareness arises like it does in THE PRESENCE PROCESS procedure, as externally triggered reflections - as ‘set ups’ – as upset.

This is why gazing is NOT TO BE DONE EVERY DAY. Gazing is ‘the inhale’. Time out from gazing is ‘the exhale’. Both are movements are required. It is important to allow time to unfold for a good exhale.

Initially, it is recommended we only gaze with each other once every seven days. This allows a full week for the unearthed emotional imprinting to arise into our awareness. Once we become more skilled at this procedure, and at responding to its consequences, we may gaze every four days. To do it more frequently than this is called, ‘trying to push the river’.

Pushing the river occurs whenever we do not give enough time for the consequences of the practice to unfold to a point of resolution. Pushing the river occurs when we use this practice as ‘the fix itself’ – instead of viewing it maturely as merely a catalyst to initiate experiences ripe for experiential processing. Do not push the river – it is a futile approach and only leads to confusion, frustration, and an inevitable resistance toward this perceptual tool. To commence with, gazing once a week is enough.

The setups or upsets triggered through gazing are processed in the exact manner in which we are instructed within THE PRESENCE PROCESS procedure, and also within ALCHEMY OF THE HEART.

This is one of the reasons why ‘exploring intimacy consciously with another’ is not an entry point into this heart-work. This is why we only initiate a conscious exploration of intimacy with another after first having established a semblance of intimacy with and within ourselves when we are alone – and then with and within our family when we are gathered with them.

When we enter this level of exploration with another – and we apply a tool like gazing – without first having done a substantial level of personal and family-related work, we are asking for disaster. We are then sitting on a pile of bone-dry kindling and playing with fire. This is because the emotional signatures unearthed during a conscious exploration into intimacy with another are some of the most deeply unconscious and uncomfortable felt-aspects within our emotional imprinting. As arising feelings, some of them are truly horrible to behold.

Having the capacity to consciously contain a direct felt-awareness regarding certain aspects of our behavior toward others – especially as it relates to what we call ‘intimate relationships’ – or the balance within the feminine/masculine principle - requires a stamina that is only gained from approaching this experience through the natural radiance of this work. In the days following gazing with our companion we experientially real eyes the extent of this truth. Even the most skilled emotional processing warriors are laid flat and unexpectedly stunned by the consequences of encountering the felt-aspects of imprinted emotional signatures related to masculine/famine imbalance upon this planet.

Once we have commenced the gazing practice with another, there are two main ways in which these mined-for emotional imprints surface into our personal awareness – and so there are two approaches to responding to them – both of which require the art of inner alchemy to initiate and accomplish resolution:

1. The first is when we are upset while being on our own. When the upset arises and we are alone – in other words, when we the upset occurs while we are not in the company of our companion - we are to process it alone. We are not to try and make contact with them as a means to include them within our drama. We are to move through the art of ‘being with what is’ until we achieve resolution. Our companion cannot assist us and no amount of verbal vomiting in their direction advances integration. The mental body believes in ‘talking things out’ – but it is a liar. Talking to our companion within the midst of an upset only serves to bury the emotional signature we have unearthed and to breed unnecessary confusion. Only ‘feeling what is unfolding within us without condition’ resolves it – not ‘discussions about what we are feeling’. Talking may enable us to temporarily feel better – but it does not move us one inch toward getting better at feeling. Therefore, we are first to process this experience to the point of completion before sharing the insights it gifts us with.

We know we have accomplished resolution when what we are experiencing is ‘no longer about anybody else’, and when the discomfort arising from the upset has completely passed and is replaced by a feeling of peacefulness, laced with deepening insight. We are integrated once we are able to laugh about it. To enter any discussion with our companion prior to this point of resolution is to fan the fires of confusion – or as we state in THE PRESENCE PROCESS – to clean the mirror in an attempt at cleansing the pimples it reflects. Once we achieve resolution – we may, if we feel inspired, share the insights gained through this triggered experience with our companion. This post-processing sharing fosters deepening intimacy.

2. The second approach is when the upset arises while we are in each others company. Again, the only approach useful when this occurs is silence, stillness, and a willingness to feel what is unfolding without attempting to cage it, kill it, or flee from it. And, be warned, some of the arising emotional signatures are so horrible, we will want to cage them, kill them, and flee from them. Sitting quietly together in silence while the triggered emotional signature spills out all over the shared experience feels exactly like dying. It feels like 'the end of the world'. Everything becomes dark and feels as if it is over. There is no future, no hope, and no seeming prospect of coming out of it. This is exactly how it is supposed to feel because what is unfolding is indeed the death of an illusionary perceptual state regarding a particular disfunction within our feminine/masculine interaction perpetuated through generation imprinting. The discomfort we feel is our experiential movement through the felt-texture of the arising emotional signature. Also, while we move through this experience, there are horrid thought patterns – stinking thinking. These are the stories that have become associated with this particular emotional signature whenever it has shown its face in any way within our previous interactions with others. The only way out is to sit together in silence, to feel what is, and to allow these feelings to move their course until they pass.

When we do not enter discussion – when we do not entertain the story – and when we do not try to physically 'do something about what we are feeling' – they pass. It is our beingness with them – and not our doingness to them – which integrates them. Not only do they pass – but on the other side of the experience an enchanting space opens up which is delightfully intimate. We know we have reached this delightful space of rebirthed beingness because it feels like we have just awoken from a dream and are able to laugh about the nightmare just passed. The spontaneous laughter is a key signifier that what arose is resolved. Not only this – often we have no idea what it was we passed through! It is so gone that it is hard to talk about. All we know is that something dreadful suddenly arose – seemingly out of nowhere – triggered unintentionally and unexpectedly by one of us - and then we sat with it - together – and it was horrible -and it then moved on – and in its wake we feel closer to each other than we ever knew possible.

Each time we ‘move through’ these deeply primal emotional imprints together, we are forging a bond which is eternal. Reaching the spontaneous laughter is evidence we are touching upon the vibrational. This is because spontaneous laughter is always the first indicator we are accessing vibrational awareness. Laughter is the medicine we are after.

If, and only if, we feel completely stuck within the triggered experience which unfolds when we are in each other’s company – then we may resort to the practice of gazing in that moment as a means to ‘break on through to the other side’. This means, amidst the immense discomfort, we sit, face each other, enter silence and stillness, and gaze.

So, we gaze, and the practice of the gazing empowers us to unearth deeply hidden emotional signature. These signatures then arise within the days following our gazing practice, and they may arise while we are alone or when we are together – and we process them accordingly. The mechanics of processing of the emotional signature are always the same: Being silent and still within the felt-aspect of the uncomfortable experience without placing any conditions upon our willingness to be so. As with all this work, the unfolding of the experience from the moment of triggering toward the moment of resolution is organic. Don't force anything.


Experiencing authentic intimacy with each other is not ‘a doing’, although it may be experienced through all sorts of shared activities. Experiencing intimacy with each other is ‘a state of being’.

When most of us enter a new relationship with another, we initially enjoy ‘being together’ as something that is effortless. We may float within this space of effortless being for some time. However, and because this is one of the underlying intents of all initiated relationships, by being together we invariably initiate and energetic triggering within each other of an awareness of our unintegrated emotional imprinting. For most of us, the way we cope or react to these surfacing energy patterns is ‘to do stuff’. Our relationship them then gradually becomes about ‘the stuff we do together’. We then confuse the ‘stuff we do together’ with the experience of intimacy or ‘being in love’.

When we or our companion no longer want ‘to do that thing together that we always loved to do’ – or, when those things ‘we loved to do together’ lose their capacity to keep us glued together – we then declare that, ‘something is wrong or missing’ or ‘that intimacy has left our relationship’.

Yet, authentically experiencing intimacy is not attached to the presence of absence of any particular doing. On the contrary, for the most part, people who do a lot together are unconsciously reacting to an inability to simply be together. Once a state of ‘being intimate together’ is authentically established, all doings become a secondary aspect of our shared encounters.

Often, when the magic of beingness starts seeping out of our shared experience with each other – we resort to an increasing menu of ‘doings’ in an attempt to ‘rekindle the flame’. This is one of the most stupid pieces of advice handed out like a band aid by marriage-menders to relationships which are bleeding through a gaping artery: “Why don’t you find something you both like to do, and then do that together…it will bring you closer again.”

This ‘doing together as a reaction to an inability to be together’ is always a movement in the wrong direction.

Intimacy cannot be established by ‘added doings’ – it is only initiated by ‘initiated beingness’. Gazing, which is in itself a not-doing practice [an undoing], efficiently remedies this predicament.

When two people truly love each other and seek to continue life’s walk together, yet have found that they have lost their way in being intimate with each other, gazing – and the consequences it initiates – and our intent to respond to these consequences as consciously as possible - is ‘a savior’.


Gazing is useful to us no matter what our current level of entry into the conscious exploration of intimacy:

1. We may still be on a solitary journey – have intended a conscious exploration into intimacy with another – but not yet received the gift of a companion from the universe with which to undertake such an exploration. Consequently, we may gaze with ourselves using a mirror.

2. We may have identified another as a possible intimacy companion, have approached them and verbally initiated our intent, and received a favorable reply. Consequently, we may suggest gazing to them as a practice to initiate an immediate deepening of our intimate exploration.

3. We may already be in the midst of a relationship with another in which we have both agreed to the necessity to awaken or reawaken intimacy between us. Consequently, we may use gazing as a means to kindle or rekindle the flame of intimacy within our shared experience.

Gazing as a practice is very simple, but like consciously connected breathing, do not let its simplicity lull you into applying it without due respect. The consequences are deeply impactful and so its application is recommended administered with a good dose of careful attention.

Once again, it is emphasized here that like the breathing technique in THE PRESENCE PROCESS, this practice moves according to its clearly stated intent. Some of you may have already gazed with another as a means to ‘clear karma’, or to ‘perceive reflections of past lives’, or any other number of its applicable intents. Like a magnifying glass, this tool exaggerates whatever its intent directs it toward. So, the label on the gazing box, just as on the consciously connected breathing box, is, ‘Handle With Care’.

Gazing, like consciously connected breathing, is not a toy.

And, just like consciously connected breathing, gazing is so simple that we may be inclined to add to or adjust the practice so that our mental body is impressed enough with what we are doing to become interested in attempting it. However, like consciously connected breathing, what we are doing is ‘nothing’. Less fiddling with it is therefore more. Through our gazing practice we are entering ‘a deliberately initiated active nothingness designed to reveal where we are resorting to mindless doings in our daily encounters with each other [or with ourselves] because we are unable to be’.

To commence the practice, we sit comfortably facing each other [or if we have no other yet to work with – then facing a mirror]. Do not be too close and do not be too far away from your companion. Experiment to ascertain what is a practical distance. The posture of our body is irrelevant other than making sure we are comfortable enough to sit without shifting for 15 minutes – and that if we are experiencing this with a companion – that our heads are at exactly at the same height. We do not want to be gazing down upon our companion, or have them gazing down upon us.

We then commence gazing into each others eyes. As a point of focus, we pick one of our companion’s eyes, be it the left or right, and fix our gaze upon it. Or, we place our point of focus where the bridge of their nose touches their forehead. Then, there is nothing else to do. Once our attention is fixed upon our companion, we remain in this position and gaze with them for 15 minutes. After a few moments, or minutes, of commencing the practice even the physical necessity to blink becomes unnecessary.

Just like consciously connected breathing, whatever happens as a consequence of sitting together while we are sitting together, or with ourselves, is required.

For some this practice is immediately, deeply uncomfortable. This is because we are not used to looking at another in the eye for so long. Nor are we used to allowing another to gaze at us for an extended period. Accordingly, we may chuckle, giggle, look away momentarily, shift within our body, feel a flush of what we perceive as embarrassment, etc. All of these experiences are valid, unfold at one time or another, and are a natural peeling away of our energetically imprinted barriers.

A very important recommendation regarding this practice is, ‘no speaking’. Once we commence, and until we are completed the 15 minutes, complete silence and stillness [as best as one can manage] are the elixirs which deliver the medicine. Within the parameters of actively carrying out this practice, as it is applied to consciously activate the experience of intimacy within and between us, speaking serves no purpose – not matter how much the metal body believes it necessary.

Speaking while gazing is an attempt to avoid ‘being'.

The longer we sit and gaze, the more we notice powerful, visual, perceptual shifts moving like weather conditions across our companions face and around their physical presence. Our companion’s face [or ours if we are using a mirror] undergoes alteration. Although it is initially impossible to do – these movements are all to be ignored. There is no value in anal-i-sing what we are seeing, or even discussing what we saw during the practice with our companion afterward. It is fun though, and can lead to laughter. However, do not use this part of the experience as a palette upon which to try and paint ‘understands’ about anything.

Whatever we see during the gazing practice is ours alone to be with on a level of felt-perception. In other words, it is not the visual distortions which are of any significance to us – it is the emotional states triggered within us as a consequence of perceiving them which are significant. Our task is to be with these triggered felt-aspects of the experience without condition – not to turn them into stories and mental body vomits.

Once we have moved through 15 minutes of this practice, it is recommended we remain within each other’s company, sitting quietly for a while, now placing our attention elsewhere. DO NOT ENTER A SEXUAL ENCOUNTER AFTER GAZING! Rather have a cup of tea, take a quiet walk, or something else that does not entail any physical contact. Continue to honor the radiance of ‘being with each other in the silence and stillness’ for a few moments. Again, as already stated, it is not necessary or even advisable to rush into a discussion of our personal experience of the gazing practice with each other. No matter how much importance our mental body places upon what happened while gazing - our personal experience of it has zero relevance for our companion – and vice verse.

Like the breathing practice in THE PRESENCE PROCESS, whatever happens while we are gazing is required, but not that relevant. The relevance only arises once the practice is completed and we reenter our daily experiences alone and with each other. The revelation of gazing is in the subsequent consequences unfolding within our daily experience. As already stated – the primary benefit of gazing is, ‘the weeding out of where we are doing stuff together because we are unable to be together’.


It is simple [but not necessarily easy] to initiate a conscious exploration of intimacy with another: We approach them and say, “Would you consider exploring intimacy with me, physically, mentally, and emotionally, with the intent of achieving experiential vibrational awareness through this experience?”

They will either run, or say yes. Such a proposition beats, “Wanna go out to the movies?” However, for those only desiring movies, popcorn, and casual sexual encounters, a proposition of this nature can be somewhat intimidating.

If another verbally agrees to enter this intent experientially with us, then, by nature of saying “Yes”, the journey is officially initiated. This is the power of intent.

As a consequence, our experience whenever with and apart from them, then deliberately unfolds in such a way that all which stands between us experiencing authentic intimacy when in their company organically begins to surface. Just as in THE PRESENCE PROCESS, whatever inhibits the experience of authentic intimacy between us whenever we are together surfaces in the guise of ‘upsets’ – or ‘set-ups’, as we have come to call them in this work.

And, just as THE PRESENCE PROCESS applies consciously connected breathing as the experiential tool to activate awareness of our emotional imprinting – a conscious exploration into intimacy also comes with a powerful activating tool: Gazing. Or, as we may refer to it once having experienced its profound power - ‘amazing gazing’.

Just as with any modality which uses the breath as an activating tool, the practice of gazing is magnified by the intent driving it. And, just as breathing is also used as a tool to enhance other practices other than emotional cleansing, such as yoga, self-hypnosis, and deep relaxation, gazing also has various applications. It is therefore necessary to clearly establish the intent driving the practice of gazing before entering into it with another.

In the context of exploring intimacy consciously with another, the intent of gazing as a practice is: To awaken the experience of authentic intimacy within us [and within our interactions with the companion with whom we are making this journey] by revealing where we are energetically blocked to the intended experience due to our emotional imprinting.

Monday, April 13, 2009



A conscious exploration of intimacy with another is entry into an unknown frontier.

Initially, there are more questions than answers – and this is why it is beneficial to hone one’s approach to, ‘the questioning process’.

To write me emails with questions about intimacy, as if I am any authority on this or any other subject, is a bit like treading water. Eventually you have to find out yourself. The only thing I am an authority on, is my experience – and just like most - I am conveniently selective at what part of it I choose to acknowledge as being true – and what part I ignore.

You must become the authority within your experience for any real movement to take place. The moment you are – you will no longer read a word I write. What would be the point, other than entertainment value?

As I write NAKED, I do so from within the insights gained through my personal exploration of intimacy as I consciously initiated and went through it with another. Yes, there is that word ‘through’ again. Any authentic exploration of intimacy with another – to be and remain authentic to its intent – is short-lived. The consequences of an exploration into intimacy, however, are eternal. Nothing can ever be lost which is truly set free. But we have to set it free to ‘know’ this.

When I initially entered this journey, I had no idea what I was doing. I still don’t. Sometimes I ask myself, “What was that all about?” She was here, now she’s gone, and I am alone, again. Yet, only now, many months after we have physically parted, am I gradually integrating the immense gift of the experience we shared.

What is the ‘she’ that was here, and what is the ‘she’ that is gone, and, what is the ‘she’ that remains – unmoved, untouched, ever awesome in the way it manifests itself in time and space?

Only now, having spent months integrating ‘not getting what I wanted’, am I able to touch my own heart with my flat hand and say, “Thank you for visiting me again and giving me another opportunity to set you free – because every time I set you free, you reveal a little more of your majesty to me.”

The revelation of what love is arises only in the absence of manipulation.

‘Our lover’ is here to assist us to gain an experiential glimpse into the face of love. But, not too much – and, not all at once. Only as much as we may contain. Time during and after the experience of exploring intimacy consciously with another must be allotted to solitary digestion – or else the nutrition is not received. The experience is the teaching.


For a while now, I have trusted my life experience enough to write directly from within it as my point of reference. I trust my experience enough to know that the deeper from within it I speak, the more relevance others may perceive in their own. This is because there is a divine paradox at work here:

It is only in exploring the depths of our individuality that we comprehend the vastness of our commonality.

If you have any questions about ‘intimacy’ – join the club. Questions are the paddle rowing us forward – as long as we do not get bogged down in the whirlpools of ‘the answering process’. Our task is to honor the question – to ‘feel the question as deeply as possible’ – and then to let it go and carry on being as present as possible within every aspect of our daily experience.

This is an ‘Ask and receive’ universe – for everyone. However, it only appears so when we are able to receive the answer directly ourselves. Receiving answers directly requires zero ‘figuring-out’ activity. Zero thinking is required. Thinking is the whirlpool – and taking the thinking of others as being the solemn truth for us are rapids guaranteed to overturn any boat.

If we do not know, we do not know. It is quite appropriate to ‘not know’. It is healthy in fact.

Thinking cannot accomplish the full, integrated resonance of knowing – only a personal integrated emotional, mental, and physical experience accomplishes the full, integrated resonance of knowing.

Understanding is not knowing.

A Soul convinced that thinking and understanding is the pathway to power and glory is a Soul disempowered.

Too much understanding drives us mental. We can all understand ‘the concept of poverty’ – but we can only ‘know poverty’ when it unfolds as something occurring within our life experience. This is why ‘the politics of understanding’ is impotent in impacting real life predicaments in any lasting way.

Once we have let go ‘the question’, we allow ourselves to receive and recognize ‘the answer’ by having an integrated life experience through which the answer is communicated intimately to us. And, it is only communicated when we have the capacity to contain it – not a second before – not a second afterward. Once we have had an experience containing ‘the answer for us’ – then, we know. This knowing is vibrational, and what is vibrational is at its core experiential.

The answer is always within. If the question arises – it does so because it is being birthed from within the answer. Both co-exist. However, for the answer to manifest experientially requires us initiating and entering an integrated emotional, mental, and physical experience to be used as a vehicle to display it. This is what the question is for – not to get a quick mental vomit from another person – but to initiate an experience in which the answer may be communicated and contained.

Writing to me, or anyone, seeking another mental understanding of what puzzles you, is selling yourself short. Don’t do it. Rather seek revelation through personal experience. Be patient. We are not to belittle ourselves by allowing other’s experiences to be the holders and transmitters of our personal truths. This is one of the many benefits in having this human experience: It is a means for us to develop the capacities to hold and own truth as something we actually know. Missing out on ‘knowing through personal experience’ is missing out on the richness of being human.

The exploration into intimacy as explored here through NAKED transmits insights coming out of my experience. I am not asking you to have my experience. I am not declaring my experience as ‘the truth’. I am, however, using the portal of my experience as an invitation for you to plunge more deeply into yours. Your experience holds your truth. If you have any questions about what is written here – if you discover you are puzzled about something – by all means ask. But please ask the right person: You.

Go to the mirror and ask – with feeling – about anything you seek to ‘know’. Then let go – and continue to be as present within your life experience as possible. By approaching what you seek in this way, you keep both hands on the oars and balance within the boat. The answer will, when you develop the capacity to contain it, surface within the vehicle of your ongoing life experience as a part of your life experience. Trust this unfolding to be so. This is divine law. Know this law to be true through the conduit of your personal experience and all other divine laws become as an open book.

The exploration into intimacy with another is not about ‘relationship’ or ‘relationships’. It is about ‘relating to’. It is not about, “How do I relate to you?” It is about, “How do I relate to myself when I am with you?” At all points along the journey the primary relationship must be kept intact as causal – and this primary relationship is best encapsulated by the way we are being toward our own emotional content.

However I am currently being toward my emotional content is exactly how I am being toward myself.

Seeking answers from another – being satisfied with quick mental understanding fixes – erodes our primary relationship with ourselves. When we actively lean upon another’s wisdom as being ‘our sworn source of truth’ – we dismiss our own capacity to be a vehicle for the manifestation of truth. This inner disconnectedness manifests outwardly as religion.

Your exploration into intimacy with another may not look anything like mine. Awesome. Trust your experience to be exactly what is required for you. Your experience is a rare gem that cannot be found anywhere else in creation. Never let anything corrode your trust in your experience, or else all is lost, and then schizophrenia reigns.

Never betray your own capacity to be the vehicle of truth as it reveals itself directly through your experiential circumstances.

This is what it means to ‘be the answer’.

The funny thing is, the more we become the answer for ourselves – the more we speak with conviction – and the more we speak with conviction - the more we attract questions from others. This is where it may become sticky.
If we deliver answers to others mentally as being ultimate truths – which we appear to do when speaking from within personal conviction gained directly from our experience - we simultaneously risk disempowering others of the capacity to gain these truths for themselves through the vehicle of their own experience.

As I write – I always do so from a resonance of, ‘this is true for me’. I have to – because I write directly from within the core of my personal experience. My experience is my truth, my light, and my way into conscious vibrational awareness. If you are inspired by what I write – great! But, please do not let it be validation for anything other than one human beings capacity to, within their own experience, wield the unlimited power of ‘the question’.

Become intimate with your own questions. Become intimate with your own quest. No one on this earth is authority over your experience – especially not older men who wear funny clothing. You are your authority. Your life experience unfolds as ‘your truth’ – the truth you require digesting to gain the capacity to consciously enter vibrational awareness while still emotionally, mentally, and physically intact. Exploring intimacy consciously is a significant step along such a journey. Own each step you take.

Our most current footprints are always the pathway leading us home to the core of our heart’s quest. When entering an unknown frontier - like ‘the conscious exploration of intimacy with another’ – it is necessary we trust our experience to be the mouth of truth. Otherwise, we invariably make our journey into and through intimacy about ‘the other person’ – and then, “Oops!” – another bout of schizophrenia.

Our unfolding experience is a valid expression of what is true for us. This is the answer.