Monday, April 13, 2009



A conscious exploration of intimacy with another is entry into an unknown frontier.

Initially, there are more questions than answers – and this is why it is beneficial to hone one’s approach to, ‘the questioning process’.

To write me emails with questions about intimacy, as if I am any authority on this or any other subject, is a bit like treading water. Eventually you have to find out yourself. The only thing I am an authority on, is my experience – and just like most - I am conveniently selective at what part of it I choose to acknowledge as being true – and what part I ignore.

You must become the authority within your experience for any real movement to take place. The moment you are – you will no longer read a word I write. What would be the point, other than entertainment value?

As I write NAKED, I do so from within the insights gained through my personal exploration of intimacy as I consciously initiated and went through it with another. Yes, there is that word ‘through’ again. Any authentic exploration of intimacy with another – to be and remain authentic to its intent – is short-lived. The consequences of an exploration into intimacy, however, are eternal. Nothing can ever be lost which is truly set free. But we have to set it free to ‘know’ this.

When I initially entered this journey, I had no idea what I was doing. I still don’t. Sometimes I ask myself, “What was that all about?” She was here, now she’s gone, and I am alone, again. Yet, only now, many months after we have physically parted, am I gradually integrating the immense gift of the experience we shared.

What is the ‘she’ that was here, and what is the ‘she’ that is gone, and, what is the ‘she’ that remains – unmoved, untouched, ever awesome in the way it manifests itself in time and space?

Only now, having spent months integrating ‘not getting what I wanted’, am I able to touch my own heart with my flat hand and say, “Thank you for visiting me again and giving me another opportunity to set you free – because every time I set you free, you reveal a little more of your majesty to me.”

The revelation of what love is arises only in the absence of manipulation.

‘Our lover’ is here to assist us to gain an experiential glimpse into the face of love. But, not too much – and, not all at once. Only as much as we may contain. Time during and after the experience of exploring intimacy consciously with another must be allotted to solitary digestion – or else the nutrition is not received. The experience is the teaching.


For a while now, I have trusted my life experience enough to write directly from within it as my point of reference. I trust my experience enough to know that the deeper from within it I speak, the more relevance others may perceive in their own. This is because there is a divine paradox at work here:

It is only in exploring the depths of our individuality that we comprehend the vastness of our commonality.

If you have any questions about ‘intimacy’ – join the club. Questions are the paddle rowing us forward – as long as we do not get bogged down in the whirlpools of ‘the answering process’. Our task is to honor the question – to ‘feel the question as deeply as possible’ – and then to let it go and carry on being as present as possible within every aspect of our daily experience.

This is an ‘Ask and receive’ universe – for everyone. However, it only appears so when we are able to receive the answer directly ourselves. Receiving answers directly requires zero ‘figuring-out’ activity. Zero thinking is required. Thinking is the whirlpool – and taking the thinking of others as being the solemn truth for us are rapids guaranteed to overturn any boat.

If we do not know, we do not know. It is quite appropriate to ‘not know’. It is healthy in fact.

Thinking cannot accomplish the full, integrated resonance of knowing – only a personal integrated emotional, mental, and physical experience accomplishes the full, integrated resonance of knowing.

Understanding is not knowing.

A Soul convinced that thinking and understanding is the pathway to power and glory is a Soul disempowered.

Too much understanding drives us mental. We can all understand ‘the concept of poverty’ – but we can only ‘know poverty’ when it unfolds as something occurring within our life experience. This is why ‘the politics of understanding’ is impotent in impacting real life predicaments in any lasting way.

Once we have let go ‘the question’, we allow ourselves to receive and recognize ‘the answer’ by having an integrated life experience through which the answer is communicated intimately to us. And, it is only communicated when we have the capacity to contain it – not a second before – not a second afterward. Once we have had an experience containing ‘the answer for us’ – then, we know. This knowing is vibrational, and what is vibrational is at its core experiential.

The answer is always within. If the question arises – it does so because it is being birthed from within the answer. Both co-exist. However, for the answer to manifest experientially requires us initiating and entering an integrated emotional, mental, and physical experience to be used as a vehicle to display it. This is what the question is for – not to get a quick mental vomit from another person – but to initiate an experience in which the answer may be communicated and contained.

Writing to me, or anyone, seeking another mental understanding of what puzzles you, is selling yourself short. Don’t do it. Rather seek revelation through personal experience. Be patient. We are not to belittle ourselves by allowing other’s experiences to be the holders and transmitters of our personal truths. This is one of the many benefits in having this human experience: It is a means for us to develop the capacities to hold and own truth as something we actually know. Missing out on ‘knowing through personal experience’ is missing out on the richness of being human.

The exploration into intimacy as explored here through NAKED transmits insights coming out of my experience. I am not asking you to have my experience. I am not declaring my experience as ‘the truth’. I am, however, using the portal of my experience as an invitation for you to plunge more deeply into yours. Your experience holds your truth. If you have any questions about what is written here – if you discover you are puzzled about something – by all means ask. But please ask the right person: You.

Go to the mirror and ask – with feeling – about anything you seek to ‘know’. Then let go – and continue to be as present within your life experience as possible. By approaching what you seek in this way, you keep both hands on the oars and balance within the boat. The answer will, when you develop the capacity to contain it, surface within the vehicle of your ongoing life experience as a part of your life experience. Trust this unfolding to be so. This is divine law. Know this law to be true through the conduit of your personal experience and all other divine laws become as an open book.

The exploration into intimacy with another is not about ‘relationship’ or ‘relationships’. It is about ‘relating to’. It is not about, “How do I relate to you?” It is about, “How do I relate to myself when I am with you?” At all points along the journey the primary relationship must be kept intact as causal – and this primary relationship is best encapsulated by the way we are being toward our own emotional content.

However I am currently being toward my emotional content is exactly how I am being toward myself.

Seeking answers from another – being satisfied with quick mental understanding fixes – erodes our primary relationship with ourselves. When we actively lean upon another’s wisdom as being ‘our sworn source of truth’ – we dismiss our own capacity to be a vehicle for the manifestation of truth. This inner disconnectedness manifests outwardly as religion.

Your exploration into intimacy with another may not look anything like mine. Awesome. Trust your experience to be exactly what is required for you. Your experience is a rare gem that cannot be found anywhere else in creation. Never let anything corrode your trust in your experience, or else all is lost, and then schizophrenia reigns.

Never betray your own capacity to be the vehicle of truth as it reveals itself directly through your experiential circumstances.

This is what it means to ‘be the answer’.

The funny thing is, the more we become the answer for ourselves – the more we speak with conviction – and the more we speak with conviction - the more we attract questions from others. This is where it may become sticky.
If we deliver answers to others mentally as being ultimate truths – which we appear to do when speaking from within personal conviction gained directly from our experience - we simultaneously risk disempowering others of the capacity to gain these truths for themselves through the vehicle of their own experience.

As I write – I always do so from a resonance of, ‘this is true for me’. I have to – because I write directly from within the core of my personal experience. My experience is my truth, my light, and my way into conscious vibrational awareness. If you are inspired by what I write – great! But, please do not let it be validation for anything other than one human beings capacity to, within their own experience, wield the unlimited power of ‘the question’.

Become intimate with your own questions. Become intimate with your own quest. No one on this earth is authority over your experience – especially not older men who wear funny clothing. You are your authority. Your life experience unfolds as ‘your truth’ – the truth you require digesting to gain the capacity to consciously enter vibrational awareness while still emotionally, mentally, and physically intact. Exploring intimacy consciously is a significant step along such a journey. Own each step you take.

Our most current footprints are always the pathway leading us home to the core of our heart’s quest. When entering an unknown frontier - like ‘the conscious exploration of intimacy with another’ – it is necessary we trust our experience to be the mouth of truth. Otherwise, we invariably make our journey into and through intimacy about ‘the other person’ – and then, “Oops!” – another bout of schizophrenia.

Our unfolding experience is a valid expression of what is true for us. This is the answer.