Thursday, April 23, 2009
In revealing this perceptual tool, we bring our discussion on the practice of gazing full circle, right back to where we commenced it: To the conscious establishment of clear intent when consciously exploring intimacy with another.
As has been stated repeatedly throughout this NAKED journey – there is a radiance moved through in this heart-work – that when honored – facilitates our exploration into and through the resonance of intimacy: First we encounter and consciously commence the art of resolving emotional signatures reflected within our experience when alone, then we consciously commence resolving emotional signatures as reflected back to us through our birth family, and only then do we consciously initiate such a journey with a companion.
There is method in the deliberateness of this radiance. A crucial part of this is that we are to experientially establish an awareness of the divine aspect of ourselves which we call ‘the vibrational’ – and this awareness is to be established experientially to some extent before we commence such a journey with another.
There is no formulae, no guaranteed step-by-step instruction that I know of, on how to establish this experiential awareness of our vibrational divinity as a certainty - other than our willingness to first process the emotional signatures within our experience that come up when we are alone, and then to commence this processing through the reflections revealed to us through our current way of relating to our birth family. Emotional processing does not ‘make this vibrational experience happen’ – it simply serves to unmask what is already and always present.
In THE PRESENCE PROCESS we refer to this achievement of experiential vibrational awareness as ‘gaining an awareness of our Inner Presence’. Our Inner Presence is an expression within this world experience of our vibrational actuality. We come to ‘know it’ through emotional processing. We come to ‘know it’ through the continual falling away of what it is masking its continuous presence. It is an awareness which visits us in a way that is customized to our personal perceptual capacities. Achieving it occurs ‘through us’ and is therefore not something another can ‘do to us’. It is 'a knowing' beyond any reasoning or any specific emotional, mental, and physical validation.
Once we have accomplished a certain amount of emotional processing, we real eyes there is a part of our experience that always is, always has been, and always will be. We ‘feel this to be so’, and so we real eyes this through the gradual development of our felt-perception. This is not something we can prove to another or even communicate efficiently through the vehicle of ‘understanding’. It arises only when we are ready to contain it – only when it is required. Once we know it, we know it. Our awareness of it does not require validation by another.
If we are not yet aware of this aspect of ourselves – no amount of trying or discussing or asking questions or reading or listening to others achieves it. It is achieved experientially through removing the masking of it. It is our emotional imprinting which masks it. It is therefore achieved through the consistent and continual willingness ‘to consciously participate in processing what is not actual’ – our emotional imprinting and the consequent mental and physical projections arising from within these dysfunctional energetic patterns.
What is valid in this discussion is this: If we are not yet to some extent experientially aware of this divine aspect of ourselves – of this part of us which is permanent, unchanging, and therefore eternal – then we are not yet ready to enter a conscious exploration of intimacy with another.
This is because if we do not yet have this aspect of ourselves in which to take refuge – then when the shared upsets that explode from a practice like gazing arise – we immediately, reflexively, run from what is unfolding. Translated, it means we attempt to cage, kill, or flee the triggered experience we are having with our companion. This is what ‘breaking up’ is. It is ‘the fleeing of a triggered emotional signature’. If all we know of our current human experience is the emotional, mental, and physical aspect of it – then, when these deeply primal signatures arise and impact our emotional, mental, and physical parameters – we have nowhere from which to compassionately observe their unfolding. They become all-encompassing and overwhelming.
Within the context of exploring intimacy consciously with another we require an experiential knowing of our vibrational divinity. This does not mean we have achieved enlightenment, or any such claim. It simply means we are to some extent familiar with an aspect of our unfolding experience that is unchanging. This vibrational aspect within ourselves we then refer to as, ‘The Bridge’. The Bridge is a place of beingness that is deeply connected to, yet also above and beyond, the waters of our ever-changing and flowing human life experience. It remains untouched by anything emotional, mental, and physical that transpires as a consequence of our conscious exploration into intimacy with another.
This too is why ‘we cannot find an intimacy companion’. How do we know when another has already established this Bridge-awareness within themselves? We don’t. Only the universe knows who has accomplished this experientially and is therefore for ready to face what must be faced by any two seeking to gather authentically and intimately in the name of love.
Therefore, once a suitable companion has been placed before us, and once we have approach them verbally with an invitation to explore intimacy, it is then imperative that we also verbally establish a mutual awareness of The Bridge factor within our intended exploration with each other. It may be explained from one to another in this manner:
“This exploration into intimacy we are intending is going to uproot very deeply embedded emotional signatures related to the way the feminine and masculine are interacting with each other within ourselves. There is deep hurt within these age-old ways of relating that are going to arise and be consciously felt by us both. When we gaze together, these ancient energetic patterns are going to stir and eventually arise into our awareness as uncomfortable upsets unfolding between us. This is going to feel horrible at times – so horrible that we may feel compelled to run from each other. We therefore require ‘a place of beingness’ that we may enter within ourselves so we may continue to have the capacity to participate in this processing work without destroying the fabric of our companionship. Let’s call this place of beingness, ‘The Bridge’. When something explodes unexpectedly between us it is not the end of the world, or the end of us being together. However, it may temporarily be impossible for us to interact with each other emotionally, mentally, and physically in ‘a loving, conscious, or compassionate manner’. This is okay. This is going to happen. It is a required part of this journey we are agreeing to undertake together. When these upsets arise, the worst action we can possibly initiate is to talk about it – or to act out physically what we are feeling - like getting up and leaving. These imprinted emotional conditions arising because of our gazing practice may be so explosive that they immediately knock us into deep unconsciousness. The nature of the divine guidance accompanying this work is that when this happens one of us will be conscious enough to know that this is an event triggered by our gazing – or even simply triggered by our sincere intent to explore intimacy consciously with each other. Whoever retains this capacity of awareness is to say to the other, ‘See you on The Bridge’. By one of us saying this to each other, what we are really saying is this: This is okay. Yes, it feels horrible right now, but it will come to pass if we apply the silence, stillness, and felt-resonance of alchemical beingness to it. This is supposed to happen to us. Interacting with each other emotionally, mentally, and physically right now is futile. Even though we are together as this is happening, all the work right now must be inwardly directed. We must be in it as it is and not panic. Know that despite how this arising emotional signature is currently coloring our entire reality that I still and shall always love you. For now though, I am standing on The Bridge where nothing of this earth life changes the love between us. For now I meet you there until this is resolved within me. Once resolution arises, and we are able to laugh about it, which we shall, we may return to our emotional, mental, and physical interactions with each other. Don’t be afraid of losing me, and don’t run away from this experience, or from me. These turbulent waters shall flow beneath our Bridge and our love for each other shall remain. After this is passed, we shall have enhanced our capacity to be with each other just as we are. This is all required. Meet you on The Bridge my love.”
If we do not establish The Bridge within our way of relating with our companion when consciously exploring intimacy with each other – we shall not make it through what is to be experienced upon such a journey. If we cannot verbally establish this Bridging capacity with another – our way of relating with them is not yet mature enough to enter such an experience.
An incapacity to establish and apply a perceptual tool like The Bridge is a direct consequence of not yet having done enough emotional processing of what is reflected back to us by our experience when we are alone, and it is a direct consequence of not yet having done enough emotional processing of what is reflected back to us when we sit around the dinner table with our birth family.
15 minutes gazing once a week is all that is required to unearth the causality of ‘our doingness when together’. What occurs as a direct consequence of this gazing is that over the next few days after experiencing this practice we become aware of these emotional signatures. For the most part, this awareness arises like it does in THE PRESENCE PROCESS procedure, as externally triggered reflections - as ‘set ups’ – as upset.
This is why gazing is NOT TO BE DONE EVERY DAY. Gazing is ‘the inhale’. Time out from gazing is ‘the exhale’. Both are movements are required. It is important to allow time to unfold for a good exhale.
Initially, it is recommended we only gaze with each other once every seven days. This allows a full week for the unearthed emotional imprinting to arise into our awareness. Once we become more skilled at this procedure, and at responding to its consequences, we may gaze every four days. To do it more frequently than this is called, ‘trying to push the river’.
Pushing the river occurs whenever we do not give enough time for the consequences of the practice to unfold to a point of resolution. Pushing the river occurs when we use this practice as ‘the fix itself’ – instead of viewing it maturely as merely a catalyst to initiate experiences ripe for experiential processing. Do not push the river – it is a futile approach and only leads to confusion, frustration, and an inevitable resistance toward this perceptual tool. To commence with, gazing once a week is enough.
The setups or upsets triggered through gazing are processed in the exact manner in which we are instructed within THE PRESENCE PROCESS procedure, and also within ALCHEMY OF THE HEART.
This is one of the reasons why ‘exploring intimacy consciously with another’ is not an entry point into this heart-work. This is why we only initiate a conscious exploration of intimacy with another after first having established a semblance of intimacy with and within ourselves when we are alone – and then with and within our family when we are gathered with them.
When we enter this level of exploration with another – and we apply a tool like gazing – without first having done a substantial level of personal and family-related work, we are asking for disaster. We are then sitting on a pile of bone-dry kindling and playing with fire. This is because the emotional signatures unearthed during a conscious exploration into intimacy with another are some of the most deeply unconscious and uncomfortable felt-aspects within our emotional imprinting. As arising feelings, some of them are truly horrible to behold.
Having the capacity to consciously contain a direct felt-awareness regarding certain aspects of our behavior toward others – especially as it relates to what we call ‘intimate relationships’ – or the balance within the feminine/masculine principle - requires a stamina that is only gained from approaching this experience through the natural radiance of this work. In the days following gazing with our companion we experientially real eyes the extent of this truth. Even the most skilled emotional processing warriors are laid flat and unexpectedly stunned by the consequences of encountering the felt-aspects of imprinted emotional signatures related to masculine/famine imbalance upon this planet.
Once we have commenced the gazing practice with another, there are two main ways in which these mined-for emotional imprints surface into our personal awareness – and so there are two approaches to responding to them – both of which require the art of inner alchemy to initiate and accomplish resolution:
1. The first is when we are upset while being on our own. When the upset arises and we are alone – in other words, when we the upset occurs while we are not in the company of our companion - we are to process it alone. We are not to try and make contact with them as a means to include them within our drama. We are to move through the art of ‘being with what is’ until we achieve resolution. Our companion cannot assist us and no amount of verbal vomiting in their direction advances integration. The mental body believes in ‘talking things out’ – but it is a liar. Talking to our companion within the midst of an upset only serves to bury the emotional signature we have unearthed and to breed unnecessary confusion. Only ‘feeling what is unfolding within us without condition’ resolves it – not ‘discussions about what we are feeling’. Talking may enable us to temporarily feel better – but it does not move us one inch toward getting better at feeling. Therefore, we are first to process this experience to the point of completion before sharing the insights it gifts us with.
We know we have accomplished resolution when what we are experiencing is ‘no longer about anybody else’, and when the discomfort arising from the upset has completely passed and is replaced by a feeling of peacefulness, laced with deepening insight. We are integrated once we are able to laugh about it. To enter any discussion with our companion prior to this point of resolution is to fan the fires of confusion – or as we state in THE PRESENCE PROCESS – to clean the mirror in an attempt at cleansing the pimples it reflects. Once we achieve resolution – we may, if we feel inspired, share the insights gained through this triggered experience with our companion. This post-processing sharing fosters deepening intimacy.
2. The second approach is when the upset arises while we are in each others company. Again, the only approach useful when this occurs is silence, stillness, and a willingness to feel what is unfolding without attempting to cage it, kill it, or flee from it. And, be warned, some of the arising emotional signatures are so horrible, we will want to cage them, kill them, and flee from them. Sitting quietly together in silence while the triggered emotional signature spills out all over the shared experience feels exactly like dying. It feels like 'the end of the world'. Everything becomes dark and feels as if it is over. There is no future, no hope, and no seeming prospect of coming out of it. This is exactly how it is supposed to feel because what is unfolding is indeed the death of an illusionary perceptual state regarding a particular disfunction within our feminine/masculine interaction perpetuated through generation imprinting. The discomfort we feel is our experiential movement through the felt-texture of the arising emotional signature. Also, while we move through this experience, there are horrid thought patterns – stinking thinking. These are the stories that have become associated with this particular emotional signature whenever it has shown its face in any way within our previous interactions with others. The only way out is to sit together in silence, to feel what is, and to allow these feelings to move their course until they pass.
When we do not enter discussion – when we do not entertain the story – and when we do not try to physically 'do something about what we are feeling' – they pass. It is our beingness with them – and not our doingness to them – which integrates them. Not only do they pass – but on the other side of the experience an enchanting space opens up which is delightfully intimate. We know we have reached this delightful space of rebirthed beingness because it feels like we have just awoken from a dream and are able to laugh about the nightmare just passed. The spontaneous laughter is a key signifier that what arose is resolved. Not only this – often we have no idea what it was we passed through! It is so gone that it is hard to talk about. All we know is that something dreadful suddenly arose – seemingly out of nowhere – triggered unintentionally and unexpectedly by one of us - and then we sat with it - together – and it was horrible -and it then moved on – and in its wake we feel closer to each other than we ever knew possible.
Each time we ‘move through’ these deeply primal emotional imprints together, we are forging a bond which is eternal. Reaching the spontaneous laughter is evidence we are touching upon the vibrational. This is because spontaneous laughter is always the first indicator we are accessing vibrational awareness. Laughter is the medicine we are after.
If, and only if, we feel completely stuck within the triggered experience which unfolds when we are in each other’s company – then we may resort to the practice of gazing in that moment as a means to ‘break on through to the other side’. This means, amidst the immense discomfort, we sit, face each other, enter silence and stillness, and gaze.
So, we gaze, and the practice of the gazing empowers us to unearth deeply hidden emotional signature. These signatures then arise within the days following our gazing practice, and they may arise while we are alone or when we are together – and we process them accordingly. The mechanics of processing of the emotional signature are always the same: Being silent and still within the felt-aspect of the uncomfortable experience without placing any conditions upon our willingness to be so. As with all this work, the unfolding of the experience from the moment of triggering toward the moment of resolution is organic. Don't force anything.
When most of us enter a new relationship with another, we initially enjoy ‘being together’ as something that is effortless. We may float within this space of effortless being for some time. However, and because this is one of the underlying intents of all initiated relationships, by being together we invariably initiate and energetic triggering within each other of an awareness of our unintegrated emotional imprinting. For most of us, the way we cope or react to these surfacing energy patterns is ‘to do stuff’. Our relationship them then gradually becomes about ‘the stuff we do together’. We then confuse the ‘stuff we do together’ with the experience of intimacy or ‘being in love’.
When we or our companion no longer want ‘to do that thing together that we always loved to do’ – or, when those things ‘we loved to do together’ lose their capacity to keep us glued together – we then declare that, ‘something is wrong or missing’ or ‘that intimacy has left our relationship’.
Yet, authentically experiencing intimacy is not attached to the presence of absence of any particular doing. On the contrary, for the most part, people who do a lot together are unconsciously reacting to an inability to simply be together. Once a state of ‘being intimate together’ is authentically established, all doings become a secondary aspect of our shared encounters.
Often, when the magic of beingness starts seeping out of our shared experience with each other – we resort to an increasing menu of ‘doings’ in an attempt to ‘rekindle the flame’. This is one of the most stupid pieces of advice handed out like a band aid by marriage-menders to relationships which are bleeding through a gaping artery: “Why don’t you find something you both like to do, and then do that together…it will bring you closer again.”
This ‘doing together as a reaction to an inability to be together’ is always a movement in the wrong direction.
Intimacy cannot be established by ‘added doings’ – it is only initiated by ‘initiated beingness’. Gazing, which is in itself a not-doing practice [an undoing], efficiently remedies this predicament.
When two people truly love each other and seek to continue life’s walk together, yet have found that they have lost their way in being intimate with each other, gazing – and the consequences it initiates – and our intent to respond to these consequences as consciously as possible - is ‘a savior’.
1. We may still be on a solitary journey – have intended a conscious exploration into intimacy with another – but not yet received the gift of a companion from the universe with which to undertake such an exploration. Consequently, we may gaze with ourselves using a mirror.
2. We may have identified another as a possible intimacy companion, have approached them and verbally initiated our intent, and received a favorable reply. Consequently, we may suggest gazing to them as a practice to initiate an immediate deepening of our intimate exploration.
3. We may already be in the midst of a relationship with another in which we have both agreed to the necessity to awaken or reawaken intimacy between us. Consequently, we may use gazing as a means to kindle or rekindle the flame of intimacy within our shared experience.
Gazing as a practice is very simple, but like consciously connected breathing, do not let its simplicity lull you into applying it without due respect. The consequences are deeply impactful and so its application is recommended administered with a good dose of careful attention.
Once again, it is emphasized here that like the breathing technique in THE PRESENCE PROCESS, this practice moves according to its clearly stated intent. Some of you may have already gazed with another as a means to ‘clear karma’, or to ‘perceive reflections of past lives’, or any other number of its applicable intents. Like a magnifying glass, this tool exaggerates whatever its intent directs it toward. So, the label on the gazing box, just as on the consciously connected breathing box, is, ‘Handle With Care’.
Gazing, like consciously connected breathing, is not a toy.
And, just like consciously connected breathing, gazing is so simple that we may be inclined to add to or adjust the practice so that our mental body is impressed enough with what we are doing to become interested in attempting it. However, like consciously connected breathing, what we are doing is ‘nothing’. Less fiddling with it is therefore more. Through our gazing practice we are entering ‘a deliberately initiated active nothingness designed to reveal where we are resorting to mindless doings in our daily encounters with each other [or with ourselves] because we are unable to be’.
To commence the practice, we sit comfortably facing each other [or if we have no other yet to work with – then facing a mirror]. Do not be too close and do not be too far away from your companion. Experiment to ascertain what is a practical distance. The posture of our body is irrelevant other than making sure we are comfortable enough to sit without shifting for 15 minutes – and that if we are experiencing this with a companion – that our heads are at exactly at the same height. We do not want to be gazing down upon our companion, or have them gazing down upon us.
We then commence gazing into each others eyes. As a point of focus, we pick one of our companion’s eyes, be it the left or right, and fix our gaze upon it. Or, we place our point of focus where the bridge of their nose touches their forehead. Then, there is nothing else to do. Once our attention is fixed upon our companion, we remain in this position and gaze with them for 15 minutes. After a few moments, or minutes, of commencing the practice even the physical necessity to blink becomes unnecessary.
Just like consciously connected breathing, whatever happens as a consequence of sitting together while we are sitting together, or with ourselves, is required.
For some this practice is immediately, deeply uncomfortable. This is because we are not used to looking at another in the eye for so long. Nor are we used to allowing another to gaze at us for an extended period. Accordingly, we may chuckle, giggle, look away momentarily, shift within our body, feel a flush of what we perceive as embarrassment, etc. All of these experiences are valid, unfold at one time or another, and are a natural peeling away of our energetically imprinted barriers.
A very important recommendation regarding this practice is, ‘no speaking’. Once we commence, and until we are completed the 15 minutes, complete silence and stillness [as best as one can manage] are the elixirs which deliver the medicine. Within the parameters of actively carrying out this practice, as it is applied to consciously activate the experience of intimacy within and between us, speaking serves no purpose – not matter how much the metal body believes it necessary.
Speaking while gazing is an attempt to avoid ‘being'.
The longer we sit and gaze, the more we notice powerful, visual, perceptual shifts moving like weather conditions across our companions face and around their physical presence. Our companion’s face [or ours if we are using a mirror] undergoes alteration. Although it is initially impossible to do – these movements are all to be ignored. There is no value in anal-i-sing what we are seeing, or even discussing what we saw during the practice with our companion afterward. It is fun though, and can lead to laughter. However, do not use this part of the experience as a palette upon which to try and paint ‘understands’ about anything.
Whatever we see during the gazing practice is ours alone to be with on a level of felt-perception. In other words, it is not the visual distortions which are of any significance to us – it is the emotional states triggered within us as a consequence of perceiving them which are significant. Our task is to be with these triggered felt-aspects of the experience without condition – not to turn them into stories and mental body vomits.
Once we have moved through 15 minutes of this practice, it is recommended we remain within each other’s company, sitting quietly for a while, now placing our attention elsewhere. DO NOT ENTER A SEXUAL ENCOUNTER AFTER GAZING! Rather have a cup of tea, take a quiet walk, or something else that does not entail any physical contact. Continue to honor the radiance of ‘being with each other in the silence and stillness’ for a few moments. Again, as already stated, it is not necessary or even advisable to rush into a discussion of our personal experience of the gazing practice with each other. No matter how much importance our mental body places upon what happened while gazing - our personal experience of it has zero relevance for our companion – and vice verse.
Like the breathing practice in THE PRESENCE PROCESS, whatever happens while we are gazing is required, but not that relevant. The relevance only arises once the practice is completed and we reenter our daily experiences alone and with each other. The revelation of gazing is in the subsequent consequences unfolding within our daily experience. As already stated – the primary benefit of gazing is, ‘the weeding out of where we are doing stuff together because we are unable to be together’.
They will either run, or say yes. Such a proposition beats, “Wanna go out to the movies?” However, for those only desiring movies, popcorn, and casual sexual encounters, a proposition of this nature can be somewhat intimidating.
If another verbally agrees to enter this intent experientially with us, then, by nature of saying “Yes”, the journey is officially initiated. This is the power of intent.
As a consequence, our experience whenever with and apart from them, then deliberately unfolds in such a way that all which stands between us experiencing authentic intimacy when in their company organically begins to surface. Just as in THE PRESENCE PROCESS, whatever inhibits the experience of authentic intimacy between us whenever we are together surfaces in the guise of ‘upsets’ – or ‘set-ups’, as we have come to call them in this work.
And, just as THE PRESENCE PROCESS applies consciously connected breathing as the experiential tool to activate awareness of our emotional imprinting – a conscious exploration into intimacy also comes with a powerful activating tool: Gazing. Or, as we may refer to it once having experienced its profound power - ‘amazing gazing’.
Just as with any modality which uses the breath as an activating tool, the practice of gazing is magnified by the intent driving it. And, just as breathing is also used as a tool to enhance other practices other than emotional cleansing, such as yoga, self-hypnosis, and deep relaxation, gazing also has various applications. It is therefore necessary to clearly establish the intent driving the practice of gazing before entering into it with another.
In the context of exploring intimacy consciously with another, the intent of gazing as a practice is: To awaken the experience of authentic intimacy within us [and within our interactions with the companion with whom we are making this journey] by revealing where we are energetically blocked to the intended experience due to our emotional imprinting.
Monday, April 13, 2009
A conscious exploration of intimacy with another is entry into an unknown frontier.
Initially, there are more questions than answers – and this is why it is beneficial to hone one’s approach to, ‘the questioning process’.
To write me emails with questions about intimacy, as if I am any authority on this or any other subject, is a bit like treading water. Eventually you have to find out yourself. The only thing I am an authority on, is my experience – and just like most - I am conveniently selective at what part of it I choose to acknowledge as being true – and what part I ignore.
You must become the authority within your experience for any real movement to take place. The moment you are – you will no longer read a word I write. What would be the point, other than entertainment value?
As I write NAKED, I do so from within the insights gained through my personal exploration of intimacy as I consciously initiated and went through it with another. Yes, there is that word ‘through’ again. Any authentic exploration of intimacy with another – to be and remain authentic to its intent – is short-lived. The consequences of an exploration into intimacy, however, are eternal. Nothing can ever be lost which is truly set free. But we have to set it free to ‘know’ this.
When I initially entered this journey, I had no idea what I was doing. I still don’t. Sometimes I ask myself, “What was that all about?” She was here, now she’s gone, and I am alone, again. Yet, only now, many months after we have physically parted, am I gradually integrating the immense gift of the experience we shared.
What is the ‘she’ that was here, and what is the ‘she’ that is gone, and, what is the ‘she’ that remains – unmoved, untouched, ever awesome in the way it manifests itself in time and space?
Only now, having spent months integrating ‘not getting what I wanted’, am I able to touch my own heart with my flat hand and say, “Thank you for visiting me again and giving me another opportunity to set you free – because every time I set you free, you reveal a little more of your majesty to me.”
The revelation of what love is arises only in the absence of manipulation.
‘Our lover’ is here to assist us to gain an experiential glimpse into the face of love. But, not too much – and, not all at once. Only as much as we may contain. Time during and after the experience of exploring intimacy consciously with another must be allotted to solitary digestion – or else the nutrition is not received. The experience is the teaching.
It is only in exploring the depths of our individuality that we comprehend the vastness of our commonality.
If you have any questions about ‘intimacy’ – join the club. Questions are the paddle rowing us forward – as long as we do not get bogged down in the whirlpools of ‘the answering process’. Our task is to honor the question – to ‘feel the question as deeply as possible’ – and then to let it go and carry on being as present as possible within every aspect of our daily experience.
This is an ‘Ask and receive’ universe – for everyone. However, it only appears so when we are able to receive the answer directly ourselves. Receiving answers directly requires zero ‘figuring-out’ activity. Zero thinking is required. Thinking is the whirlpool – and taking the thinking of others as being the solemn truth for us are rapids guaranteed to overturn any boat.
If we do not know, we do not know. It is quite appropriate to ‘not know’. It is healthy in fact.
Thinking cannot accomplish the full, integrated resonance of knowing – only a personal integrated emotional, mental, and physical experience accomplishes the full, integrated resonance of knowing.
Understanding is not knowing.
A Soul convinced that thinking and understanding is the pathway to power and glory is a Soul disempowered.
Too much understanding drives us mental. We can all understand ‘the concept of poverty’ – but we can only ‘know poverty’ when it unfolds as something occurring within our life experience. This is why ‘the politics of understanding’ is impotent in impacting real life predicaments in any lasting way.
The answer is always within. If the question arises – it does so because it is being birthed from within the answer. Both co-exist. However, for the answer to manifest experientially requires us initiating and entering an integrated emotional, mental, and physical experience to be used as a vehicle to display it. This is what the question is for – not to get a quick mental vomit from another person – but to initiate an experience in which the answer may be communicated and contained.
Writing to me, or anyone, seeking another mental understanding of what puzzles you, is selling yourself short. Don’t do it. Rather seek revelation through personal experience. Be patient. We are not to belittle ourselves by allowing other’s experiences to be the holders and transmitters of our personal truths. This is one of the many benefits in having this human experience: It is a means for us to develop the capacities to hold and own truth as something we actually know. Missing out on ‘knowing through personal experience’ is missing out on the richness of being human.
The exploration into intimacy as explored here through NAKED transmits insights coming out of my experience. I am not asking you to have my experience. I am not declaring my experience as ‘the truth’. I am, however, using the portal of my experience as an invitation for you to plunge more deeply into yours. Your experience holds your truth. If you have any questions about what is written here – if you discover you are puzzled about something – by all means ask. But please ask the right person: You.
Go to the mirror and ask – with feeling – about anything you seek to ‘know’. Then let go – and continue to be as present within your life experience as possible. By approaching what you seek in this way, you keep both hands on the oars and balance within the boat. The answer will, when you develop the capacity to contain it, surface within the vehicle of your ongoing life experience as a part of your life experience. Trust this unfolding to be so. This is divine law. Know this law to be true through the conduit of your personal experience and all other divine laws become as an open book.
However I am currently being toward my emotional content is exactly how I am being toward myself.
Seeking answers from another – being satisfied with quick mental understanding fixes – erodes our primary relationship with ourselves. When we actively lean upon another’s wisdom as being ‘our sworn source of truth’ – we dismiss our own capacity to be a vehicle for the manifestation of truth. This inner disconnectedness manifests outwardly as religion.
Your exploration into intimacy with another may not look anything like mine. Awesome. Trust your experience to be exactly what is required for you. Your experience is a rare gem that cannot be found anywhere else in creation. Never let anything corrode your trust in your experience, or else all is lost, and then schizophrenia reigns.
Never betray your own capacity to be the vehicle of truth as it reveals itself directly through your experiential circumstances.
This is what it means to ‘be the answer’.
As I write – I always do so from a resonance of, ‘this is true for me’. I have to – because I write directly from within the core of my personal experience. My experience is my truth, my light, and my way into conscious vibrational awareness. If you are inspired by what I write – great! But, please do not let it be validation for anything other than one human beings capacity to, within their own experience, wield the unlimited power of ‘the question’.
Become intimate with your own questions. Become intimate with your own quest. No one on this earth is authority over your experience – especially not older men who wear funny clothing. You are your authority. Your life experience unfolds as ‘your truth’ – the truth you require digesting to gain the capacity to consciously enter vibrational awareness while still emotionally, mentally, and physically intact. Exploring intimacy consciously is a significant step along such a journey. Own each step you take.
Our most current footprints are always the pathway leading us home to the core of our heart’s quest. When entering an unknown frontier - like ‘the conscious exploration of intimacy with another’ – it is necessary we trust our experience to be the mouth of truth. Otherwise, we invariably make our journey into and through intimacy about ‘the other person’ – and then, “Oops!” – another bout of schizophrenia.
Our unfolding experience is a valid expression of what is true for us. This is the answer.
First of all, any companion we are journeying alongside right now, whether through marriage or otherwise, is our current intimacy partner.
We do not have to ‘get rid of the person we are with right now’ to explore intimacy. The exploration of intimacy is multi-dimensional and has many layers of entry and application.
For many of us, our current companion may not be involved in heart-work at all. They may not even use the word ‘intimacy’ as part of their vocabulary. They may be happy with ‘things just they way they are’. They may never read more than one page of a book like THE PRESENCE PROCESS, and then put it down never to pick it up again. The may seemingly have no interest.
When we awaken intent to explore intimacy, but are in this predicament – then this is 'our cross to bear'. It means we are not yet ready to receive a consciously-orientated intimacy partner. It means we still have some personal and family imprinting to integrate. It means part of us is apparently as unconscious about the necessity for an exploration into intimacy as is communicated by the felt-reflection of our current companion .
When with a partner not vulnerable to exploring intimacy consciously, we are still able to explore intimacy ourselves - just not ‘with’ our companion yet – but rather ‘in the company of our own companionship’. This is what THE PRESENCE PROCESS and ALCHEMY OF THE HEART assist us to accomplish.
Where we are right now in our heart-work is where we are now required to be. To wish it to be some other way is to miss the point and unconsciously initiate energies of manipulation.
People who are ripe for such an encounter are often those who have been on a solitary journey for a while.
Celibacy is a very good resonance to entertain before entering a conscious intimacy exploration with another. When we are continually sexually involved we are not vulnerable to an accurate awareness of what constitutes ‘the condition of our personal energy environment’. Regular sexual encounters immerse us deeply into the energetic environments of another.
A solitary experience means that rather than looking outwardly for another - we have been seeking inwardly - we have instead been focusing on guiding, healing, teaching and nurturing ourselves.
A solitary experience means we have for a while deliberately not been leaning on another, and so we have become aware of just how and where we do lean. We have processed the emotional charges driving our leaning behaviors.
A solitary experience means the mirror and family dinner table have been our intimacy companions.
We may be married, or in a long-term relationship, but still have entered such a solitary resonance. This is the consequence of many marriages and very long-term relationships programs.
Then, one day we real eyes we have arrived at a place on the road where it is now beneficial to journey intimately with another. We have become our best friends. We have processed much of our neediness and incessant wanting, and so know we have something to give. We seek an intimate encounter in which we may give, give, give it all away.
We become curious about the experience of intimacy. We ask sincerely, “What is this intimacy thing about? I would like to explore intimacy as an experience. ”
When we have been journeying in a solitary manner for a while – without any companion – and feel ready to explore this next level of the intimacy experience consciously with another – there are signs which are useful in identifying when such a potential companion enters our space:
We are not passionately drawn to this person. This is because they are not reflecting the felt-resonance of our unintegrated emotional charge. When we meet another who ‘knocks us off our feet’, we can be sure this is NOT our intimacy partner. To our inner child, this is simply a very good reflection of 'mommy' or 'daddy'. Such ‘head over heals’ encounters are driven by the emotional realm, not the vibrational. Those seeking ‘the rush of falling in love’ are not yet emotionally equipped enough for such an exploration. These passionate encounters usually drown when called upon by the depths of intimacy.
We almost feel a sense of indifference when we encounter someone ready to journey with us. It is not actually ‘indifference’ we are feeling – it is ‘lack of manipulation’. We notice they are equally indifferent to our presence.
Being able to rest in their company is evidence of great possibility. When with a potential intimacy partner, there is a distinct resonance of stillness and emptiness in which we feel relaxed enough to rest. We are able to rest because we are at peace with this person. There is no push and pull because there is no need and want related to their presence.
It is the kind of encounter in which we feel uncertain we shall meet again. We have no sense of ‘a future together’. They just happen to be here in this moment with us. Our full awareness is present with them in this moment. The events of this moment are enough - they are not 'driving us to make plans to put together another moment while we are still in this one'.
There is no personal preparation required before entering their company. We have no desire to impress [manipulate] this person – we want nothing from them.
This encounter will also appear to be in some way ‘arranged’. When we are paying attention, it will be quite obvious the universe is placing us before them and them before us. It is obvious that 'there is something at play'. Playfulness is a sign.
When we experience an encounter that resonates with some of the above indicators, it means the universe is presenting us with a profound possibility.
Because of the amount of emotional processing already accomplished, many are now ready for such an encounter. Blessed are those who recognize it and have the courage to initiate such a great adventure into themselves with another.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
When we catch ourselves asking, "How do I find the right person to explore intimacy with?", or something to that effect - we are both seeking in the wrong place and in the wrong way.
'Looking for' is getting behavior. Intimacy is only possible within a resonance of giving and receiving.
A companion to consciously explore intimacy with is always given when we are ready to receive.
When we 'look for someone', we merely seek out a reflection of our imprinted, unconscious definition of love in another. Then, at some point, we inevitably try and change that person because what initially attracted us [the passion!] becomes the same thing that we run from [the poison!] when what we wanted is not possessed.
The most efficient approach is to become curious about the experience of intimacy itself. What does it feel like to be truly intimate with a lover?
Forget conjuring up the identity of a lover. Rather ask to be given the experience of intimacy. Become fascinated with intimacy itself - not with another person.
Once our fascination is authentic - the experience is unexpectedly, magically, and powerfully given!
When we catch ourselves 'looking for someone' - good time to visit the mirror.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
The teachings about Jesus come to us through organized religion, while the teachings of Jesus come to us directly through the intimacy of our own experience.
The teachings about Jesus are only relevant to self-proclaimed Christians, while the teachings of Jesus impact all humanity regardless of race, religion, or gender.
The teachings about Jesus raise him above us as ‘untouchable’, while the teachings of Jesus bring us face to face with him as equals upon the same evolutionary adventure.
The teachings about Jesus are a mental discussion and ritualistic obedience toward rules and regulations formulated from observance of his supposed physical activities.
The teachings of Jesus are discovered through personal insight - through entering ones own authentic emotional predicament upon the resonance of unconditional felt-perception.
As we now move toward and through the Easter weekend, it feels appropriate to share some insights related to ‘the teachings of Jesus’ – specifically regarding the energy set in and around the crucifixion.
Judas is no betrayer – he is possibly the only person Jesus could trust to set up the event intended to ground ‘inner transformational alchemy’ into the physical world so as to make this awareness available as our humanity approached this level of our evolutionary adventure.
The other disciples did not ‘fall asleep while Jesus stayed awake throughout the night' – they were overwhelmed by the intensity of the unconsciousness related to the surfacing emotional signature being triggered by this deliberately staged event. Only Jesus, because of his personal training in alchemy, had the capacity to remain conscious as these energetic circumstances unfolded.
The kiss on the cheek was not ‘an unexpected deception’ – it was a symbol to Jesus that ‘the game is on’. The kiss is a symbolic representation of ‘the trigger'– or as we call it in THE PRESENCE PROCESS – ‘the appearance of the messenger’. Jesus was being set up – deliberately. He had trained for years to carry out this final demonstrations of alchemy as being ‘the means for humanity to perceptually move itself from The Boredom and into The Kingdom’.
The arrival of Judas and the soldiers was ‘the upsetting event’ – the sudden appearance of circumstances that turn everything upside down. It was the ‘thief in the night’ – the sound of breaking glass in the early hours of the morning when we are sound asleep. It was the crisis revealing what Christ is.
If we check into ourselves, we discover that whenever we are personally ‘set up’ – the reason we do become so upset about it, is because we feel as if ‘we have been betrayed’. Anyone bringing reality into our illusions is initially considered by us to be 'a betrayer'.
As Jesus stood before Pontius Pilot, he was asked the most transformational question possible: “Are you who they say you are?”
Whenever we are upset – we are experiencing a triggering within our emotional imprint upon which a manufactured identity has been built. The upset is 'anything challenging the validity of our ongoing impersonation'. The upset is a circumstance which directly contradicts our pretentious portrayal, and in doing so, challenges us to see it, admit to it, and through felt-acknowledgement, to overcome it.
Ask yourself: “Am I really the person people say I am? Am I really the persona I have manufactured in an attempt to sedate and control my imprinted fear, anger, and grief? Am I indeed the effect of my generational, emotional imprinting?”
Accordingly, Jesus was asked: “Are you who you say you are?” Then he was told, “If you are, you may go free, if not, you must die?”
Of course Jesus was not, ‘The King of the Jews’. He could never admit to what he was not. If Pontius Pilot had instead asked, “Are you a vibrational being currently having an emotional, mental, and physical experience?”, he could clearly have stated “Yes” and been freed. But that was not what this entire setup was about.
No upset ever questions our authentic essence – it is always an affront on our inauthenticity. When we react, when we defend our position – we hold fast to what we have manufactured as a consequence of our imprinting. If, when we are upset, we reactively defend our stance to the point of placing the erupting attention upon another or elsewhere [through justification or blame], we have then successfully escaped and freed ourselves of the discomfort of having to take responsibility for our experience.
Jesus’ popular identity as ‘King of the Jews’ had everything to do with the collective, unresolved, Jewish imprint, and absolutely nothing to do with his actual intent. He could not admit to what he was not. Consequently, Pontius Pilot had no choice but to sentence him to death.
In the same light, when we are upset, and instead of reacting, choose response through containment, we are volunteering to die to what is inauthentic about the nature of our persona within that triggered moment. We are choosing not to continue sedating and controlling the imprint now in question – but rather to be with it as it is through felt-perception until its illusionary state is integrated.
Just because Jesus was adept at this kind of work does not mean that he experienced no fear in the moment he was sentenced to death by Pontius. Fear was everywhere in that experience. However, he did not try to escape it by explaining ‘what a terrible mistake this has all been’. He did not justify or debate or blame. He felt the fear. He contained the fear. He required the fear. His quiet, non-defensiveness, was a deliberate response to this primal fear – the fear of ‘physical death’.
When we are upset – our immediate impulse toward reactivity is born of not being able to contain the fear. After the betrayal of the messenger, fear always comes first: The fear of ‘now having our manufactured projection called out and revealed’ - the fear of having to die to what is inauthentic about ourselves.
After being sentenced to death, Jesus then entered ‘the walk of shame’. As he made his way through the angry crowds toward the crucifixion, many shouted, mocked, scorned, threw rotting matter, beat at him, and tried their best to shame him.
When we do not defend our manufactured identity, we are shamed because of it. People then say and do terrible things to us because, when we do not defensively maintain our projected persona, others mistakenly assume it is because we are actually siding with it – and so we are judged accordingly. This can mean great shame, harsh words, and reprisals. Any defensive stance we resort to when ‘upset’ is an attempt to prevent this eruption of this shame.
When others accordingly shame us, we feel angered, enraged, and infuriated. This angered state is then often the point at which we do become reactive, and not only defend our projected persona, but in turn attack those who are participating in revealing and shaming our false projections.
Just because Jesus spent years in training for this moment does not mean he did not feel the anger, rage, and venom. Despite what the ‘teachings about Jesus’ lead us to assume – Jesus was human while human. As he walked with his cross, all around him, within and without, rage spilled over and became torrents of abusive violence. He felt it. Yet, he did not defend himself, nor did he try to take the attention off himself by attacking his attackers. He contained all the surfacing anger. He required the anger. His walk of shame was a deliberate intent to gather this primal anger – the anger which always arises in defense of our egoic manifestations.
The people were furious that he would not be ‘the King of the Jews’ for them. The people were enraged that he would not disempower them of their personal responsibility by giving them someone to follow.
When he arrived at his place of reckoning, there were many already waiting there who loved him dearly, but who did not have the capacity to comprehend what had been set in motion. He saw and felt the bewilderment upon their faces. He could not tell them, “Do not worry – this is required”. As the crucifixion ritual unfolded, the grief swam within him and around him so thickly that many felt as if they were drowning in it. Yet, he did not try to stop anyone from experiencing what they were experiencing. He did not try to comfort them. Instead, he consciously felt all this grief. He required feeling this primal grief – the grief that comes from the false belief that we can actually lose something we love.
It took Jesus three hours of conscious containment of the fear, anger, and grief he had gathered since Judas’ profound setup to accomplish integration. He had to die to all of it. In the midst of the death, he asked the same question we all ask as we are approaching integration of any primal imprint – “Father, why have you forsaken me?” Jesus too had to surrender – to become so vulnerable that he even questioned his own divine connection with the vibrational – before making the perceptual shift from The Boredom into The Kingdom.
The teachings about Jesus lead us to believe he did all this so we do not have to.
The teachings of Jesus reveal that he was deliberately anchoring within the physicality of the human experience a metaphoric demonstration of what everyone who intends awakening into vibrational consciousness has to move through.
When we follow this alchemical demonstration, when we become intimate with our own emotional imprinting [fearfully and callously called ‘sin’ by the religious], when we contain it as it is brought into our attention through our obedient Judas’s, we too are able to tread the long and winding road which leads us into vibrational awareness.
Anyone who attempts to convince us that because Jesus did it - and if we then accept he did it for us - that we then do not have to engage in any such inner activity, rob us of our salvation.
Jesus placed the revelation of this energetic Pathway of Awareness into this world 2000 years ago for us today. The story of the crucifixion is a demonstration of the conscious movement from ‘the upset’, through the fear, then anger, then grief, into the resurrection from the imprint.
Our world is currently being set up. All that is inauthentic - every structure we have built and every action we have taken as a reaction to our individual and collective emotional imprinting - now approaches reckoning. Every ‘catastrophe’, be it environmental or economic, is asking us, “Are you who they say you are?”
2012 is the crucifixion of humanity. Once passing through this portal, we become vulnerable to a transformed way called 'being' – one in which our vibrational essence is consciously honored as causal. Much has to die between here and there. Within this year alone we are still to experience some major planetary crucifixions. This is because we now approach the Easter of our human evolutionary experience.
I have often written and said, “THE PRESENCE PROCESS is not what we think it is about.” As we move through the next three years, many of us [including myself] shall repeatedly real eyes the relevance of this statement.
This intimate heart-work is not about having us live happily ever after within the identities and structures manufactured out of our emotional signatures. This intimate heart-work is about training us experientially to not only consciously contain these erupting signatures within ourselves, but to remain grounded as millions literally go mad with fear, anger, and grief.
Every deliberately initiated crucifixion has profound consequence.
This Easter weekend we are again reminded that this work is nothing new. It is not even religious. Our moment of evolutionary harvest has arrived. There is nowhere to run to and nothing to do. Pontius Pilot is everywhere. Death sentences are being handed out like parking tickets. Angry crowds are gathering to blame and shame. Those we love stand around not comprehending what is happening. Can we consciously die to all of this – or are we going to fight tooth and nail to defend it?
Being with what is without condition on the level of felt-perception contains within it the same radiance as expressed through Jesus during his crucifixion - the same resonance that carried him through that final moment of doubt into the dissolving of the perceptual veil concealing The Kingdom from its children.
We are blessed who real eyes this.
Realizing this, and responding accordingly, sets up our life experiences to become islands of salvation in amidst the stormiest seas yet witnessed by humanity.
When, through containment, we are able to walk through the current emotional chaos unfolding upon planet earth without drowning unconsciously in it – then we are 'walking on water'.
My prayer for myself and for you all this Easter is this: ‘Walk on water’. No matter what happens, walk on water. This planet requires our conscious presence now more than ever. Be ever conscious of the Pontius.
“Are you really who they say you are?”
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Once we have integrated the family tree by being crucified upon the primal cross of our elemental attributes – by allowing ourselves to consciously, through beingness, die to the unintegrated felt-resonances of our generational imprint – we are ready to enter the portal of awakened vibrational awareness through the gaze of a lover.
Once we embrace the task of nurturing ourselves, of acknowledging our life experience as valid, of taking responsibility for our emotional content, and of accepting our inner guidance as being our true compass, we are able to sit in peace around the dinner table with our birth family [or whoever is currently cast within these roles for us].
We then real eyes all these people are just as much our family as any other human being. They are actually our vibrational brothers and sisters, playing these roles out of love to show us outwardly where we require inner growth so we may consciously approach and move through the next portal upon our evolutionary journey.
In no sacred text do we read that, ‘God created adults’. We are all vibrational children of the vibrational family, and the cross symbolically represents our shared elemental family tree.
As we grow, we are nurtured by the material, taught by the mental, moved by the emotional, and guided by the vibrational.
Through integrating the emotional signatures reflected back to us by our birth family [or those playing such archetypal roles for us], we real eyes experientially that we only have one father – which we all share – which may be called ‘the vibrational’.
All other points of role-play identification – all our clinging to certain Souls and expecting them to ‘mother us’ or ‘father us’ or ‘brother us’ or ‘sister us’ – are simply consequences of unintegrated emotional imprinting passed along from one generation to another.
Through allowing ourselves to feel the felt-aspect of these familial emotional imprints without condition – so they may organically move toward the fullness of integration – we break this spell and release all whom we are unconsciously casting into these roles.
Once we have integrated the family tree – the primal cross of our elemental attributes – by consciously crucifying ourselves through applying the resonance of beingness – we are ready to enter the portal of awakened vibrational awareness through the gaze of a lover.
Integrating imprinting related to our birth father [or anyone currently cast in this role for us] integrates all issues relating to our inner guidance.
Our father is guidance.
He is the entire ‘vibrational reality’. He is vibration. Vibration – interacted with through our felt-perception – is our guidance while here in the emotional, mental, and physical realm. The entire spectrum of our relationship with our vibrational experience is encapsulated within our earthly relationship with our birth father [or whomever is currently playing this role for us].
Integrating all imprinting related to our birth father requires ‘becoming our own source of guidance’. To accomplish this requires learning through trial an error how to guide ourselves. This requires a complete acceptance of our insights as being valid.
To accomplish this, we place our attention internally upon the image of our birth father [whether he is still in this world or not] or upon an image of whoever is currently playing this role for us. Whatever story arises is to be dismissed. Whatever felt-experience arises is to be ‘felt without condition’.
Being with the emotional states which arise when we bring an image of our father into our awareness is the causal point birthing the responsive activity which sows movement leading us into authentic self-guidance.
When we place our attention upon our father and experience feelings which cause us discomfort – it means we have not yet mastered the art of guiding ourselves while journeying through this emotional, mental, and physical world. It means, on some level, we still expect others to play this role for us. We still seek ‘to be told what to do by a superior figure’. Our task is to integrate these emotional signatures.
When we are authentically able to guide ourselves, our relationship with our father enters harmony. Our birth father then becomes our friend and is released from having to play such a role for us. We are then able to be in this world knowing that while here, all of our guidance comes from within.
The vibrational is our real father – it provides all we require to guide us through the intricacies of our evolution.
Sister heals and in this healing reveals all stickiness inhibiting movement.
Our sister is ‘energy-in-motion’ - emotion. She is the entire emotional world. She is the ocean of our planet. The entire spectrum of our relationship with our emotional experience is encapsulated within our relationship with our birth sister [or any who currently are cast in this role for us].
Integrating all imprinting related to our sister requires ‘becoming our own healer’. To accomplish this requires reawakening felt-perception so we are able to consciously attend to our childhood imprinting.
To accomplish this, we place our attention internally upon the image of our sister [whether she is still in this world or not] or upon the image of whoever plays this role for us now. Whatever story arises is to be dismissed. Whatever felt-experience arises is to be ‘felt without condition’.
Being with the feelings which arise when we bring an image of our sister into our awareness is the causal point birthing the responsive activity which sows all movement leading into authentic self-healing.
When we place our attention upon our sister and experience feelings which cause us discomfort – it is because we have not yet mastered the art of taking responsibility for our emotional condition. We are still playing 'a victim' or 'a victor'. On some level, we still expect others to heal us on our behalf. We still seek to be ‘fixed’ by another. Our task is to integrate these emotional signatures.
When we are authentically able to take on the responsibility to heal ourselves, our relationship with our sister enters harmony. Joy return into our experience.
Our sister then becomes our friend and is released from having to play such a role for us. We are then able to ‘be’ in this world emotionally, knowing that while here, we are entirely responsible for our own emotional content.
Our emotional body is our inner sister. She provides all the opportunities we require for healing and for initiating real movement within our life experience.
Our current relationship with our brother reveals ‘our mentality’.
Our brother symbolizes ‘the teachings of our life experience’. He represents, ‘the acceptance of our moment-to-moment experience as being our highest teaching’.
Integrating all imprinting related to our brother requires ‘embracing our life experience as being our Truth, our Light, and our Way’, through which we attain vibrational awareness while evolving in the material realm.
To accomplish integration of our brotherly imprint requires a conscious intent to embrace our life experience as valid and to recognize that our life lessons are delivered to us through the consequences of any movement we initiate.
To accomplish brotherly integration, we place our attention internally upon the image of our brother [whether he is still in this world or not] or whoever plays this role for us. Whatever story arises is to be dismissed. Whatever felt-experience arises is to be ‘felt without condition’.
Being with the feelings which arise when we bring an image of our brother into our awareness is the causal point birthing the responsive activity which sows the movement leading into the full embrace of our personal experience as being valid.
This is one of the primary teachings of our brother: Our life experience is deliberately tailored. Embracing it as completely valid, just as it is right now, is the only means for us to accomplish conscious approach, entry, and transition through the 2012 portal.
When we place our attention upon the image of our brother and experience feelings which cause us discomfort – it is because we have not yet accepted our life experience to be our ultimate truth. It means, on some level, we still expect others to lead us, or show us the way. We still seek to be ‘a follower’. Our task is to integrate these emotional signatures so we real eyes that following our own footprints is the long and winding road which leads us.
When we are authentically able to trust our life experience, to value it above the experiences revealed to us by all others, our relationship with our brother enters harmony. This is because, when we accept our experience to be holy truth for us, we automatically discontinue invalidating our brother’s experience.
Our brother then becomes our friend and is released from having to play this antagonistically reflective role for us. Then, peace is felt and we are able to be in our life experience knowing that while here, all of it is our holy teaching.
Realizing the holy teaching inherent within the consequences of all our actions is the gift from our brother. Our brother says, “Your life experience as it is right now contains all the lessons you require.”
Integrating imprinting related to our birth mother harmonizes the way we relate to our material experience.
Our mother is ‘what matters’. She is the entire natural world. She is nature. Nature nurtures. This entire spectrum of our relationship within our material experience is encapsulated in our current relationship with our birth mother.
How we feel about our mother right now is an authentic reflection of how we really feel about being on planet earth right now.
Integrating all imprinting related to our birth mother requires the willingness to awaken our inner mother by in a sense 'becoming our own mother’. To accomplish this requires learning how to nurture ourselves.
Nature teaches nurturing.
To accomplish this at a causal level, we place our attention internally upon the image of our birth mother [whether she is still in this world or not] or whomever is playing this role for us right now. Whatever story arises is to be dismissed. Whatever felt-experience arises is to be ‘felt without condition’. It is this simple and this challenging.
Being with the feelings which arise when we bring an image of our mother into our awareness is the causal point for birthing the responsive activity which sows all movement leading into authentic self-nurturing.
When we place our attention upon an image of our mother and experience feelings which cause us discomfort – it is because we have not yet mastered the art of nurturing ourselves while journeying through the physical world. It also means our relationship with nature is out of balance. On some level, we still expect others to play the mothering role for us [especially our lover]. We still seek s/mothering by another.
Our task is therefore to consciously and compassionately integrate all uncomfortable emotional signatures related to our birth mother – and all humans currently cast in ‘a mothering role’ toward us.
When we are authentically able to nurture ourselves, our relationship with our mother enters harmony.
Our birth mother then becomes our friend, and is released from having to play such a role for us. So are all others currently cast in this role.
We are then able to 'be' in this material world knowing that while here, all of nature is our mother. This earth is our true mother. She provides the entire physical nurturing pantry we require for our individual and collective evolution. She gives freely – our manipulative behavior hurts and is not required.
Our mother loves us.
The cross may have been franchised out by Christianity – but as a metaphoric symbol – it belongs to all of humanity regardless of race, religion, and gender.
When we discover the structural mechanics responsible for the manufacture of our human experience, we simultaneously real eyes what the symbol of the cross communicates.
It is a multi-dimensional portal through which we die to pretence and awaken to presence. It is the symbolic meeting point of time [the horizontal] and space [the vertical] in the heart center.
It is the 2012 gateway being consciously opened [again] by all who practice authentic alchemy.
Fulfilling the intent of the cross is the promise of intimacy.
It is held up for our facilitation by the trinity of authenticity, integrity, and intimacy.
We pass through into the resonance of authenticity when we turn inward upon our own personal daily occurrences of fear, anger, and grief, and shine the divine resonance of our beingness upon these emotional imprints with unconditional compassion.
We then pass through into the resonance of integrity when we turn inward upon the reflections of fear, anger, and grief we unconsciously cast upon our birth family, and choose to consciously integrate these in the same manner – through unconditional felt-perception.
These first two levels of heart-work introduce us to practices of intimate inner work which in turn equip us with the capacity to look intimately into the eyes of our lover and experientially real eyes what God is for us.
But first – becoming authentic…
When we intend initiating authenticity, we discover that the causal point of the quality of our experience is being dictated by the imprinted condition within our emotional body.
We vibrate, therefore we feel these vibrations, therefore we think about them, and therefore we do stuff.
What we feel about these vibrations determines what we think about and how we subsequently ‘do’ as a consequence of this thinking.
Taking responsibility for our experience therefore means taking responsibility for what is unfolding within the feeling realm as programmed imprinting.
Through an active intent to integrate these imprints, we real eyes our experience is masterfully constructed of four attributes: The vibrational, mental, emotional, and physical – and that each have function and divine purpose.
Like a car – driving requires becoming familiar with all the controls, and with how each is designed to relate to each other with the intent to manifest movement.
We too reside in a car of sorts: However, to most of us, the human vehicle is at present an unidentified flying object.
Alchemy is the art of flying through portals. Intimacy provides the required momentum.
It is only when we approach the vibrational, emotional, mental, and physical through our heart that we are able to bring our experience into the balance required for deliberate movement.
To accomplish this, we use the physical as a divine mirror, the mental as a divine messaging system, the emotional as the altar of integration, and the vibrational as the overall facilitator.
Once this alignment is made, each attribute then takes on its highest potential function: The vibrational is a guidance system, the emotional is the fuel system, the mental is the navigational system, and the physical is ‘a vehicle’.
We have then accomplished the perceptual shift from victim to victor to vehicle.
We have moved from complaint through competition and into compassion.
Without the vehicle we cannot travel through these perceptual portals.
When in balance and ready for movement, the vibrational is symbolized as ‘beingness above us’, the mental as ‘beingness on our right-hand-side’, the emotional as ‘beingness on our left-hand-side’, and the physical as ‘beingness below us’.
When these four attributes become consciously hinged through our heart, the shape of a cross is automatically manifest as an energy system in which we consciously reside.
The Celtic Cross as used as an appropriate accompanying images because the woven symmetrical designs upon it represent an integrated energetic relationship between all four attributes.
The cross mirrors our human body and contains within its symbolism our evolutionary intent.
When we intend to integrate our generational imprinting - our ‘family issues’ - we are consciously approaching our crucifixion.
We approach our crucifixion by consciously retracing our steps along The Pathway of Awareness.
We first try to adjust our experience physically – fearfully - because the world ‘matters’ so much to us. We manipulate. We fail.
We then try to adjust our experience mentally – angrily - through understanding and argument. We manipulate. We fail.
Finally, through grief we enter fully the authentic condition of our imprinted emotional body and real eyes we have discovered the causal point of the quality of our experience:
We try everything to ‘fix our heart’. We even try to get rid of what we really feel by attempting to feel better.
We discover that nothing we do with our hands helps. All our doings fail. Trying to feel better does not assist us to get better at feeling.
Accordingly, our busy hands become useless to us – and so are metaphorically nailed down.
We discover that, ‘Wherever we go [run], there we are’. We real eyes we have to face ourselves wherever we stand, sit, or lay our heads. Each moment is the same when we run across this earth is search for what we carry within our own hearts. When we behave like this we reside in The Boredom.
Accordingly, our legs no longer serve us and our feet become metaphorically nailed down.
We try to think, scheme, plan, and mentally manipulate our way through our suffering. We fail. A crown of thorns is finally place upon our head – our ‘bloody thinking’.
The more we struggle, the more pain we inflict within and without.
Blessed are those who intimately sob within the embrace of their own sacred company, for they shall be comforted by experientially awakening into the vibrational.
Eventually, ‘being with what is without condition’ is all we have left.
In this moment of 'nothing to be done' we are crucified.
We discover it takes three full days of being without condition focused compassionately upon the causal point of any primal, generational, imprinting, for us to completely integrate the illusion, and so to rise up from the death of the perceptual actuality our imprint has been masking.
Because we are so resistant – we sometimes stretch these three days out over months and even years. For most of us, facing up to three days of ‘what is’ can take lifetimes.
We remain crucified until experientially realizing ‘the radiance of being’ as causal to all life.
There is no greater cultivator of intimacy with and within oneself than crucifixion.
Crucifixion is the portal from doingness into beingness.
Once we are crucified, our life journey becomes a living cross upon which many others die to their illusions.
It is necessary to have been through a few crucifixions before consciously entering ‘the family work’.