Yesterday evening I sat for a while in the back yard with my eyes closed, cat on my lap [Harmony], listening to the orchestra of sound being expressed throughout my environment.
I love to sit, close my eyes, and openly receive the fullness of what my ears hear here - everything they hear here - from cars to birds to ruffling breezes upon chimes to children's playful voices to dogs barking in the distance. I receive it and allow it all to weave into the one, unified, orchestrated movement of a song I call, "God speaking to me".
This 'conscious listening to what is', and embracing it all exactly as it is, invites me into an experience of felt-peace and unity with an efficiency unlike any other activity I know.
Every now and then, one sound may jump out and attempt to grab all my attention. This may be because it appears dissonant. Then, without any warning, I discover I am lost in 'thinking about it'. Within seconds the feeling of unified felt-peace dismantles into internal mental chatter as my thoughts hustle to place the sound back into where they think it should be within the entirety of God's orchestral make-up. Sometimes these thoughts try to make this particular sound 'go away' so I can better hear the stuff I prefer listening to.
Sometimes, because of its immense beauty, a particular sound attempts to capture all my attention. Then, without any warning, I discover I am again unconsciously adrift in thinking about it. I am describing to myself why I like it, etc. Within seconds the feeling of being immersed in unified felt-peace again dismantles into a dullness as my thoughts hustle to 'place this sound above all others', because they think it should be situated in a special place amidst the entirety of God's orchestral make-up.
In both cases, whether because of dissonance of harmony, I real eyes it is not the sound itself grabbing at my attention - but rather the feeling it inspires within me.
It appears I struggle to contain some of the feelings I hear.
This is because they trigger the discomfort of an as yet unintegrated memory within my emotional makeup. Or, for the very same reason, they move me into 'excitement'. Consequently, I addictively and reactively evacuate the felt-aspect of my heard-experience and dive head-long into 'thoughts about it'. Subsequently, the thinking-experience shifts me out of a felt-sense of unified peace and harmony.
As I sat there last night, watching myself go through this experience over and over, I realized this simple illustration is the crux of alchemy and intimacy.
Both are about listening: Listening with my ears, eyes, nose, tongue, body, and heart. Listening to whatever God is for me - which, when I remember - is everything.
Alchemy is so simple - yet, profoundly challenging: Whether I have developed the ranges of my felt-capacity to real eyes this yet or not - whatever impacts me by grabbing my attention does so because of how it causes me to feel. This may be discomfort or excitement.
The challenge is not in stopping or changing the feeling - and, it is not in evacuating my felt-capacity by initiating thinking - but rather in stopping still within what I am hearing, and instead drinking it in - as fully as possible.
To be with the felt-aspect of my experience - just as it is - without any mentally-driven plans, agendas, and predetermined outcomes - is the art of, 'Though art in Heaven'.
This 'being within the feeling of my experience' is an intimate portal. The longer I sit within this intimate portal - unconditionally - the more powerfully I respond to my individual and hence collective experience.
This unconditional felt-response sows spectacular seeds. Hindsight reveals this beyond any doubt. And, it does not matter what these seeds are - because they are always exactly what I require. Again, hindsight reveals this beyond any doubt.
It is this conscious entry into, and conscious containment of, the felt-aspect of my human experience, that initiates authentic 'intimacy within myself'. As a consequence of this consciously felt-encounter, this listening, all unfolds organically, naturally, harmoniously, and miraculously, bringing about my highest good within each moment.
I have therefore strongly encouraged myself to reread 'Revelation Of Being' on the Writings page of the The Presence Portal. Now more than ever, various aspects of God's unified orchestra are facilitating me by appearing chaotic and out of harmony. And, sometimes, overly exciting. This radiance is required. And, over the next few months, because so few of us are yet actively listening, my heart informs me the volume is to be turned up to an unprecedented level.
Listen now Michael, or be blasted unexpectedly.
I asked for change. I initiated change within myself. Here it comes. Here it is - the outer manifesting the mirrored reflection of the already adjusted inner states.
When I think too much about what is happening in the outer world - my actions are inevitably reactions. Listening unconditionally to the felt-aspect of what is unfolding is enough. Through this I receive all I require. This is enough.
When I interact with what is happening to me right now by honoring the felt-aspect of the experiences appearing dissonant - and even those appearing ecstatic - my actions are responsive.
This felt-participation - and my conscious containment of it - is alchemy, and it is also intimacy.
The key to intimacy with and within myself is 'a listening-based felt-resonance'. It is the receiving of my unfolding experiences through unconditional felt-perception.
On a level of felt-perception, 'listening and receiving are the same thing'.
With this key realization in my heart I am qualified to move from the exploration of 'intimacy within myself' into the next phase of my journey:
Intimacy with my immediate family.
Onward, inward, and upward then...