Exploring intimacy consciously only became important to me once I first activated my intent to reestablish the frequency of authenticity, and then of integrity, within myself.
Until I explored the relevance of authenticity and integrity within my own life experience, when I heard the word ‘intimacy’, I mistakenly only associated it with words like ‘relationship’ and ‘sex’. Yes, exploring intimacy does include reexamining the experiences we call ‘our sexuality’ and ‘our relationships’, however, these two aspects are simply two granules on the beach of what a full encounter with intimacy encompasses.
My exploration into the resonance of authenticity empowered me to experientially discover that the quality of my experience was indeed ‘authored within me'. It led me into the discovery of the consequences of emotional imprinting, and the realization that within the first seven years of my life, my energetic system is deliberately tattooed by accumulated childhood experiences. Exploring authenticity revealed to me - that from my childhood experiences onward - that until I consciously impacted this predicament, it was this imprinted energetic pattern to which my circumstances bowed as being ‘the current causal point of my unfolding experience’.
Accordingly, I arrived at the realization that, ‘I only activated the resonance of authenticity within myself when I consciously embraced the responsibility to impact this imprinting in a way empowering me to become the author of my unfolding destiny’ – as opposed to having the circumstances of my life unconsciously dictated by an inherited, energetic, generational pattern.
In entering my exploration into the resonance of authenticity, I realized it was not any scripted behavior, or set of moral rules followed, or predetermined way of portraying myself to others, which qualified me as being ‘an authentic person’. Authenticity revealed itself to me simply as, ‘the consequences of intending response over reaction within each moment of my unfolding life experience’.
To respond consciously reawakens authenticity. To react unconsciously propagates pretence.
My exploration into the resonance of authenticity then led me directly into an exploration into my personal level of integrity.
Until I had commenced reactivating authenticity within my life experience, I assumed integrity had something to do with, ‘an alignment of my behavior with some appropriate moral or socially acceptable code of conduct’. However, my intent to reactivate and nurture the frequency of integrity within myself led to the discovery that my ability to resonate with integrity is directly related to my ability to integrate, and that my ability to integrate arose from my awareness of, and my capacity to work with, an energetic matrix I have since called The Pathway Of Awareness and its associated Seven Year Cycle. [These are both discussed in depth within THE PRESENCE PROCESS, ALCHEMY OF THE HEART, and various audios and writings available on http://www.thepresenceportal.com/ ]
The revelation of The Pathway of Awareness and The Seven Year Cycle is that as I entered the world as a child and approached my adulthood, my awareness deliberately moved along a predetermined energetic trail:
For the first seven years I operated primarily emotionally, as ‘a child’. This was a time in which I was energetically imprinted [mostly through experiences impacting me at the level of felt-perception] to the point that my emotional condition became a precisely defined energetic pattern.
For the next seven years I operated primarily mentally, as a young boy – ‘a teenager’. This was a time in which I went to school, learned to read, write, count, and in doing so, to mentally translate the imprinted energetic patterns of my childhood into a conceptual reality which I now call ‘telling stories’.
For the next seven years, a period which included and followed my physiological transformation called puberty – my focus then became increasingly physically-transfixed. I was deliberately steered into entering the physical parameters of my participation in ‘the adult world’.
The Pathway Of Awareness as I entered the human experience therefore initially moved through three Seven Year Cycles that went from emotional to mental and into the physical.
My exploration into reawakening my integrity therefore had nothing to do with adhering to some sort of socially acceptable and appropriate moral code of conduct. Instead, it lay within my conscious integration and relationship with the emotional, mental and physical - the attributes that made up ‘the structure and mechanics of transient aspects of my unfolding human experience’. Integrity was therefore about 'the structure of my experience', and how sound my way of relating to it is. Reawakening integrity therefore lay within my establishing a conscious relationship with the emotional, mental, and physical parameters of my human experience in such a way that correctly aligned my personal intent with the intended roles/functions of these three attributes.
While I mistakenly attempted to impact the mental aspect of my experience [my thoughts, concepts, and stories] and the physical aspects of my experience [my physical body and the physical circumstances through which I constantly moved] as the causal point of anything, I remained what I now regard as, ‘out of integrity’.
It was only when I embraced my imprinted emotional condition as being ‘the currently relevant causal point of the quality of my human experience’ that I authentically reactivated my integrity. Then, my physical world became of service to me as a mirror – as a divine messenger manifest in a myriad of forms showing me outwardly what I did not yet have the capacity to perceive inwardly about my imprinted energetic condition. And then, my mental world became as a conceptual passageway delivering my awareness from the revelation of the outer physical mirror, inwardly, toward the point of actual felt-perception that experientially revealed the texture of imprinted emotional condition requiring impacting with my compassionate awareness.
Very importantly, I also realized that, ‘the emotional aspect of my experience is only a causal point while it remained imprinted in a manner that distorts the radiance of my authentic essence’ – which I now call the vibrational. In other words, the imprinted emotional body is ‘the current causal point’ – not ‘the actual causal point’. This is because the actual casual point of all is what I call ‘the vibrational’ – and, the vibrational to me is that which is beyond the confines of the transient conditions of time and space in which the emotional, mental, and physical operate.
I realized that unless I embarked upon the journey of integrating my imprinted emotional condition, my authentic essence – the vibrational – remains masked by this ongoing energetic distortion. This is because - according to The Pathway Of Awareness that was revealed to me -my awareness of the vibrational would continue to first be channeled through, and consequently defined by, the imprinted energetic predicament within my emotional body. I would then encounter it radiance as the consequent emotional distortion [fear, anger, and grief] which would then impact the nature of my mental activity [confusion], which would then impact the reality of my physical circumstances [outer disharmony]. In other words, while remaining emotionally imprinted [programmed], I remain hidden from myself by a mask of radiating energetic distortion.
It became clear to me that if I wanted to real eyes my authentic vibrational essence, it was pointless dabbling with my physical circumstances or my mental make-up – for while imprinted - these remain me mere dancing shadows of reality - as reflections of distortions being initiated by my childhood imprinting. It became obvious to me that, only by impacting these imprinted emotional patterns in a manner that integrated their conditioning impact on the vibrational realm emanating through them, would the vibrational reveal itself to me in all its pristine glory.
Accordingly, my physical and mental attributes became dethrone as ‘the rulers of my world’, and once again took up their rightful positions as ‘servants’ – whose primary task in my evolution is to lead me into a greater awareness of my imprinted emotional condition. I subsequently took outdated assumptions like, ‘thought creates’, and ‘I think therefore I am’, and tossed them into the trash.
Consequently, ‘feeling to heal’, or ‘being unconditionally with the felt-aspect of my discomforts’, replaced ‘understanding’ and ‘outer doings’ as a tool for causal integration.
It was therefore only through the insights and revelations of exploring authenticity and integrity that I finally committed myself to the task of integrating my imprinted emotional condition as being of the highest priority. And, it was only when I made this commitment to myself – to feel to heal - that I discovered the profound relevance of intimacy within the evolution of my human experience.
Without first activating authenticity and integrity – exploring intimacy remains a shallow excavation of a very, very deeply concealed artifact.
Consequently, the word intimacy revealed itself to me as, ‘into me and see’. [Not as into-you-and-see.]
Accordingly, my entire outer physical life experience, and the concepts and stories I attached to it, become as divine opportunities assisting me within the exploration of my inner emotional condition. Then, the exploration of intimacy, wielded as a deliberate intent, becomes the key to unlocking the emotionally imprinted doorway that masks – through the resonance of its imprinted energetic distortion – the true face of my vibrational essence.
The moment I committed myself to becoming intimate with myself, I automatically activated what I call ‘a radiance’. This activated radiance brings with it an ongoing unfolding of revelation and insight previously hidden from me. It is the illuminations of this ongoing radiance, and its consequential revelations and insights, that I now seek to share with you. Some of these that we shall explore along the way include:
- The realization that intimacy is much more than ‘relationships and sex’. We shall examine how it raises these two frequencies to their highest potential.
- The revelation that consciously activating authentic intimacy within our human experience is the key to experientially knowing what we are, what love is, and so what God is.
But, there are many other fruits to this journey – and I will discuss them too from the point of view of my personal experiences.
In its most profound revelation – intimacy reveals, and hence dismantles, the camouflaged resonance of inner and hence outer manipulation through which the physical and mental set themselves up as dictators, who for eons have enslaved the emotional. Exploring intimacy authentically liberates us men [for we require it most] from our conceited historic perspectives – and when we are liberated – all woman within our experience are naturally allow ‘to be’.
When I realized the consequences of awakening authentically, with integrity, into what the experience of exploring intimacy offers – I discovered that such a journey is simultaneously the most painful and beautiful exploration I may ever undertake.
It is also the most well-hidden, because by keeping this frequency of ‘being with ourselves’ concealed from ourselves, we remain ignorant of what we actually are, what love actually is, and what God actually is for us. And, while this ignorance reigns supreme – we live a life as humans doing everything conditionally [mainly for others], instead of humans being unconditionally with each other [for us all].
And, this is possibly enough of an overview of my intended exploration into intimacy to get us going. I invite you to join me for this ride, and I invite you to take a moment to share your insights.